You’re a bad person and you should feel bad.

I don’t understand what it is then that the Presidents does. Perhaps the biggest takeaway from the Trump Presidency is that the position be relegated to a purely ceremonial one with almost zero impact on policy (such as the Queen’s role in the Commonwealth).

Okay, for starters, I want to say that I have never *seen* a ghost. Maybe at least in part because I don’t want to, but there it is. I have, however, *heard* some things that have decided me to never ever ever live in a detached home again, because as long as I have neighbors in my same actual building, I have…

This will probably be almost totally lost in the greys, but maybe that’s okay...

I tried submitting this last year, and because I was super late- it got lost in the greys and maybe 6 people saw it. So here it is again, with updates as many things have changed since I last wrote this story.

I don’t think this is what Jezebel intended for the contest, as it’s not scary. I briefly told this story in the comments of one of the contest pages a few years ago. Frankly, I don’t think about it much, as although it’s not the supernatural element that got to me at the time, it was a frightening experience and…

The summer after my sophomore year of college, my parents asked me to house sit for them while they went out of town for a long weekend. At the time, they lived in a fairly remote area so it was a bit of a trek, but it was a big beautiful house on the lake and my parents’ pets were sweethearts. First night I actually…

Makes me want to believe in God, so I can believe in Hell for these cops.

That’s pretty much the reaction from Germans as well. Our Secretary of the Interior, Horst Seehofer, is anxious to not let his party, the CSU, lose any votes to the far-right extremist AfD party in the next Bavarian election (where he’s been the Head of State before his current job), so he made asylum seekers the BIG…

That’s bullshit. We need pocket equality NOW. Who’s with me?

For years, our greatest scientists, philosophers, et al have been pondering this mystery & searching for the answer to no avail. One of our universes biggest mysteries.

Cake’s version is superior to Gaynor’s

Skeet Ulrich also said something similar to Cosmo:

Fairly certain she traded one for the other.

Wow- what’s with these older white guys? Do they reach a certain age and their brain breaks? Is this the dude equivalent of menopause?

Brags about sending weapons of mass destruction, capable of hitting the wrong targets and killing innocents, over cake. Fucking cake

I have lunch every other week or so with a woman who works in my office. Sometimes we go to lunch at the same time and we both require nourishment so eating together makes sense. So far I have managed to avoid fucking her. I do this by not trying to fuck her. This also applies to all other women I know who are not my…

In Iceland you could get either parent’s surname, but that name is then followed by “son” or “daughter of.”

“Man who has never done his homework discovers he doesn’t know any answers on the test”

Trump also mentioned how “no one could have guessed waiting at a DMV would be boring” and “it was a surprise to find out that there are planes that have more than 8 seats.”