What medical excuse do you use? I suffer from social anxiety disorder and am not comfortable having people watch me eat. So far, the only excuse I've used is lactose intolerance, but that only works with pizza and stuff.

That was really commendable of those nurses, going over and above the requirements of their duties to protect your cousin from aliens. I hope those nurses were well-armed though, those MIB aliens can get nasty sometimes, especially when they have their heart set on grabbing someone. That's why whenever I need to go to…

His sister was also his mom who was also a tween? That sounds like some Woody Allen type family drama in that household. No wonder the poor guy regularly took LSD despite his bad trip.

Thank you for your note of optimism.