God we need a pissing contest just for the most outrageous bridal/baby shower stories. 

One of the natural and most pleasing outcomes of being divorced from an ex-husband with whom I had no children (and therefore have had almost no contact with over the years), is that the time and distance has allowed me to remember him and the fun times that we had together fondly (and from the interaction we have had,…

Kimmel has really been showing up the last year or so and I’m very grateful to him for it. And he continues to even with the backlash he gets. 

I was leaving a book launch around 8p last night. As I always do after dark, I called someone as I walked to my car in case I get attacked the person on the other end can call 911. Also? My husband didn’t answer his phone, so I just talked to his voicemail until I got to my car so that he could call 911 if I didn’t…

Fabulous!! Strong stuff. Absolutely acid-etched.

Shitshitshitshitshit I’d been sort of avoiding this because I generally knew what it was going to be, and now I’m crying at my desk. Fuck.

I speak out ALL THE TIME about women’s issues, and I was DUMBFOUNDED at how many of the things that she mentioned that women can’t do that I had internalized and accepted. It’s just the way it is -- all of the tiny little freedoms that men have that I don’t. FUCK ALL OF THIS.

I’m absolutely sobbing. I keep hearing how these “false accusations” are capable of ruining men’s lives. You know what ruins lives? Being raped.

“I’ll prove I’m not a shitty man by acting super shitty” is certainly a, uh, bold strategy...

Shitty dude proves why he deserves to be on shitty dude list.

The Bush years were my teenage years. I will never forget those years, and how they felt like absolute hell and formed my views on politics, which are don’t trust people in authority because they did and continue to fuck us over today. Don’t trust Republicans. Push Democrats because they won’t fight for you unless you…

Times were different last night! If I knew then what I know now...

“I guess I tried to force myself on her,” Alperin told the police. “I feel like such a terrible person for it.”

I did forget how bad the Bush years were, and thought he was likable compared to you-know-who but then he whipped votes for Kavanaugh.

I GUESS.

No, you feel terrible because you got caught and have to face the consequences. If you weren’t a terrible person and fine with it you wouldn’t have assaulted her in the first damn place.

On the plus side, John Henry is not being portrayed by Scarlett Johansson!

The summer after my sophomore year of college, my parents asked me to house sit for them while they went out of town for a long weekend. At the time, they lived in a fairly remote area so it was a bit of a trek, but it was a big beautiful house on the lake and my parents’ pets were sweethearts. First night I actually…

Aw, it’s nice your mom thought that. I would think he’s a murderer coming to kill my whole family in our sleep, but that’s the pessimist in me.

That. Thread. Ruined. Me.