I’m a white dude, and I fell asleep during EWS.

All-American Christian™️

Also, like... generic white guy is exactly what I expect a family annihilator to look like?

You have to do what I do, lock myself in my room when they visit (because my wife is apparently unconcerned and unwilling to tell them not to), and actively decline any and all trips to see any of them. It sucks, and it may one day cause a rift in our marriage, but I only get one shot at life and I’m not going to…

If he'd been literally anything else other than white, we would have gotten his arrest record and mental health history complete with "a history of violence."

Can’t say I’m not disappointed. I never imagined Rita and Tom raising a son who turned out to be such a dick.

Then your guess would be wrong. I think there’s a melanin argument here.

Combine the jokes: the corners of her skull cavity are various facets of her victim complex, and her brain is a golf ball, bouncing around and hitting corners at random.

You have the size right, anyway. My joke was that where most people have their abilities of reason and empathy, Marjorie only has her sense of victimhood.

I’m sure she’s learned her lesson this time. Good job, Twitter.

That’s a lot to unpack, so let me say the only thing that comes to mind: holy fuck.

Joan, sometime around this new year you mentioned in a longer (and maybe not even related) post that you were starting a sobriety journey. I’d been having a bad time and coping with alcohol, and it hadn’t occurred to me until I read your post that I could…just try to stop with the alcohol. I stopped and got help and…

“Christian fiction” - Well, there’s a redundant phrase.

I’m with ya, Britney! Nothing makes me happier than a new bit o’ technology. Congrats on your new bestie!

Well it’s Newsweek..about as quaint and outmoded as the butter churn.

it is really surreal to think my old-ass iPad I bitch about and rarely use was more than Britney had for years

Imagine having millions of dollars and being this excited for something that most people have had for years and years.

Jamie should go to jail for this alone. We all know he wouldn’t let her have anything but the tiny phone. Imagine having millions of dollars and being this excited for something that most people have had for years and years. 

My guess is these are just regular people in her life. For instance, my long-time hair-cutter (seems wrong to call her a stylist since I leave with wet hair each time) refuses to be vaccinated and I simply told her I wasn’t coming back until she was. So far, crickets. I ended up going to a Beauty Brands stylist (who…