“Thanks to mom and dad and my tarantula and god bless the Hong Kong freedom figh-”

Quail Earnhardt 

you do know that Cech is left-handed....

“For football keepers transitioning to ice hockey, there’s a lot of adjustments,” Čech said. “But playing for Arsenal made me very comfortable with my defenders gliding backward towards my net.”

I thought Clayton Kershaw’s tribute to that last night was really beautiful.

On one hand, you have the Chinese government who wants the ability to extradite residents of Hong Kong with no oversight. The same Chinese government that regularly disappears people in it’s custody, and is running literal concentration camps for ethnic minorities and political dissidents.

Hey, Tim, important question -- how many rows behind you was the overhead compartment with your bag?  I think that the determination of your potential jerkitude hinges upon the answer.

Again, I cannot emphasize enough how little I think of GWB.

This is likely the biggest mistake I’ve ever made on Kinja, but god help me, here I go.

I’m a 51 year old man who owns a lightsaber, several droids, a robotic dinosaur, and at least 3 pairs of Star Wars boxers - one of which I am currently wearing.

The only thing in this article that I completely believe:

Since this is obviously a made up story, in order to make it easier for everyone else to separate fact from fiction here, I’ve taken the liberty of going through the entire article and highlighting the things that are obviously make believe so readers coming after me can focus on the aspects of the article that may be…

As long as they use the expired peanuts from a bankrupt airline. 

“If the key works Monday, I’ll keep working.”

So, what you’re saying is that something in Gilroy stinks.

The 1960s had Oscar Romero

That sheer control, top-to-bottom, hitting him perfectly thigh-high on that barely-visible run... it’s No Nonsense, really, what he does with those leggs.
















Spanx.






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As someone who grew up in Austin, I can agree that if you stay downtown (or leave exclusively for destination BBQ spots in Driftwood and Lockhart) you can’t fuck up. It’s when you go to the fucking Domain that you’ve absolutely ruined it for yourself.

Check out the shit-stirring MOB at Rice University for a good example of such a band.