In a salary capped league, it doesn’t matter that Jones could pay it many times over, because player salaries become a zero-sum game. If he gives Elliot more than he’s worth, he can’t give that money to someone else. So the team as a whole gets worse, or he has to underpay someone else.

How dare you insult Minshew 

“We value the values Jalen adds to us, to the Jaguars. I think we value him highly.”

Hey everyone, this guy figured out that the owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars lacks an understanding of how an NFL team operates!

From the Guardian piece linked:

I hereby propose that we start an Internet Rumor that Dan Snyder is courting Dabo Swinney. There’s no downside. Either:

Quit talking about the Redskins and stick to sports!

I think they should have smaller stadiums. A handful of teams can pretty much fill a 40,000 seat stadium all season, but by and large baseball stadiums should max out at 30,000, and should be located in cities, not parking lots 5 miles outside the city (or worse).

There's also the possibility that reducing the number of games will lead to increased demand per game. What I'm trying to say is, 162 games is a lot.

Bill Buckner, God rest his soul, cringed at that error.

So, yeah, cocks and commercial grade sucking machines do not mix.

Jesus fuck I was not prepared. I thought I was.. but I was not.

Trump’s search history is almost certainly full of Civics 101 inquiries like “how does a bill become a law,” “whats’ the difference between the House and the Senate,” “what is the electoral college,” and “is it illegal for a sitting president to withhold military aid to an ally unless that ally agrees to investigate a…

Yeah, do not put your dick in an industrial vacuum. I am an emergency room nurse in Toronto who, after 12 years, has seen all manner of manhood mutilation. Twice (TWICE!!) I have treated guys who had decided that big ol’ machines were the correct venues to procure orgasm. One of them got off (heh) with bruising and…

I don’t think anyone ends up actually enjoying it, but when you’re like 12 and looking around the house for tube-like objects to experiment with, you can see how there might be some very temporary appeal there before you make a mistake you won’t soon forget.

Those vacuums’ll take your dick right off. You don’t wanna have sex with them.

I will die upon the Hill of Dude. I am a man who came of age in the 80's when Dudes were Dudes and Bro’s had not yet harshed our Dudeness. A Dude is a man of relaxed character and mellow disposition, The Dude was called so for a reason.

If the Orioles extend the nets, but there’s no one in attendance to be protected, does the foul ball make a sound?

The White Sox extended the nets all the way down shortly after the June incident. We have season tickets a few rows up from the nets and can once again confirm that anyone telling you it ruins the experience of the game is a bold faced liar and is looking for any reason to complain.  I’ve fought on this hill before…

This was a long walk but I starred you for the effort to get there.