Its on Netflix. Netflix is free if you get your parents password.

I can’t be alone in having a dad that the government definitely knows better than in most things. (Exceptions include: how to have a terrible family vacation, and when it is least appropriate to say the phrase “we’ll get there when we get there”.)

“He likes to cuddle now”

*looks up boredly from drying nails*

DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Valar Morgoopis

Farting is the BEST

Apparently, the showrunners would rather have an unsuccessful series with white leads than a successful series with multiracial leads. I will read the early-season-3 cancellation notice with interest, but I hate that Nicole Beharie and Orlando Jones are being treated with so much unwarranted contempt and hope that one…

Some of these are bad deals and some of them are just bad products. Like, I’m not sure I would accept a call blocker even if it was free. I feel like I would just throw it away once the well-meaning 129-year old person who bought for me as a gift was gone.

My Mom would do her thing and I’d kick her leg under the table, and then she’d turn to me and say: “Why are you kicking my leg under the table?”

We all make that face when we’re about to give teenagers the autism.

The upselling is expected... they’re a business after all.

He looks like a Juggalo at his “straight” job as a Best Buy salesperson.

Kit’s like a hot Wooly Willy.

No. No, this is not “squee.”

I’m the opposite! I’m bi and usually say I’m more physically attracted to women, but sometimes I’ll see a really nice penis and be like “.... yuuuuuuup. Definitely not giving those up anytime soon.”

Man butts are so square sometimes! I told Mr Parade that his looks likes two white castle sliders nestled together and I think he’s still made at me -__-

Are we sure this isn’t an excerpt from a forthcoming novel by Bret Easton Ellis?