Arguably still less horrifying than actual childbirth.

I will never forgive Ben and Jerry's for massively fucking up the single best ice cream they sold: Coffee Heath Bar Crunch. In their push to source "non-GMO" ingredients, they switched it to Coffee Toffee Crunch and it now tastes like metallic sand from a fucking oil drilling site. It's awful.

Where have you had this cookie butter before?? I want to start with the butter (pot) and work my way up to this ice cream (crack in the backseat of a dirty van)

His hairpiece needs would break you.

Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus

That's a point that was made in the first season of Sleepy Hollow (before it became All Crane Love Story All The Time.) In one episode Ichabod makes a speech about how he feels proud of his "ancestors" fighting for freedom, etc., and then catches Abbie's eye and falters. He's realizing that the freedom he fought for…

<— The diners in question.

I have the pink version of that onesie. They're so adorable, they have a little monkey face on the butt.

Doppelbangers.

Exactly! Like reading online product reviews. First, you have to dismiss the unrelated-to-product "it took two weeks to get here!" Or "USPS lost my package" foolishness, as well as most the one star reviews, as they're generally useless: "broke after I dropped it into my hot tub".

That sounds like something that would have happened if Andy had been allowed to join the Finer Things Club on The Office.

I love the combo of macho pissing contest with a loose-leaf tea break.

this is awesome Shrayber fan fic.

Look who has the self control to stop at one sleeve. Show off.

I love how the nutrition facts suggests something like 2 Thin Mints as one serving. Don't they mean one sleeve of cookies 'cuz that's how I roll?

This was a thing of beauty. As a linguist, I like your language. :*

No Mark, the worst story I ever read was that horrible movie you tricked your poor partner into going to with you. Your lucky he doesn't smother you in your sleep. It must be love.

Hmmm. I'm pretty sure I've read grosser. Seems more like a Stupid College Student story than a Gross-out Story.

I am so happy Sofia left that jerk she was dating or was married to....

ANNNNNNNNNNND YA BURNT