This project could have been AMAZING. The shoes are really cool, and I don't at all mind the concept, actually. The accompanying stories, however, are insufferable. This guy has the emotional maturity and intellectual prowess of a freshman philosophy major who insists his teachers all give him Cs because they're…

If chaste cosleeping next to a demanding nuisance means that someone is your girlfriend, then I guess I've been going out with my cat for the last 6 years. Don't tell my boyfriend.

Maybe Loki wants grand-babies?

Same, then I went: "Eww" "See you in my daughter." Is kinda gross.

The artwork is reminiscent of Sheilah Beckett's depiction of "The 12 Dancing Princesses."

More to the point, where was the epic Loki mic-drop insult-fest from Lokasenna?

I think that the patriarchy puts so much pressure on women to get married and produce grandchildren that some just get to the point where they give up and just do what they need to so that they don't have to endure "when are you going get engaged" from relatives one more year.

What about a "This post is making me reconsider our friendship" button, for when people post sexist/racist/otherwise questionable things.

This one will come in handy on fb:

I'm gonna say it: Diet Coke tastes like shit, and Diet Pepsi is the milk of angels. COME AT ME, BRO.

Did anyone else think that this was on purpose? My friends and I stage pictures where one of us looks randomly annoyed quite often. I think it's hilarious.

Missed opportunity for the joke, "I ate too much noodle and now I need to go take a Schnitzel." COME ONNN.

They said December if 2013 to get tax stuff and stores figured out, whats taking so long, is everybody hig....oh.

Back when Nigerian scammers were a thing, I decided to have a bit of fun. I answered every single one of the emails with some sort of made up story line and most the time they would answer. Usually I could keep them on the hook for a few days before they realized I was just messing with them, pretending to be a famous…

This was crazily good. The writing, the subject, all of it. Must read her book.

Oh, Burt. I love it when you're on weekend duty. It's like when your parents hire that cool, laid-back babysitter who would let you eat cookies for dinner.

Well I am deeply hurt that you would reject me in such a public, humiliating way.

I both want to brag about this and put to bed the fears of would-be moms who get scared by anecdotes like Kelly's: I have two kids and have NEVER PUKED while pregnant. Not in the first trimester, not during labor...NOT. ONCE. Was I heartburny and nauseous as hell in my first trimesters? Yes. Did I nearly yak the time…