This, THIS is what a normal, sane person is talking about when they're saying that a business can and sometimes should refuse someone service. The utterly insane assholes who start off treating the staff like slaves and go downhill from there. The POS who threatens their way into free stuff because they know a…

“Jeb Bush (pronounced “Heb Boosh”)“

I am an uncle to four and a grand-uncle to four more. It is our sworn duty to make funny faces at babies and, when the kids get older, trot out embarrassing anecdotes to horrify their dates/prospective spouses. With great age comes great responsibility, as Prince Harry is only too well aware.

my religious freedom is being attacked because there are other religions

Oh for fuck’s sake.

This guy can’t afford steaks on his pay? Maybe he should educate himself and get a better job. Boot straps!

You hear that, Poors? No seafood or steak for you! Who cares if those are foods that are extremely nutritious and give you the most bang for your nutritional buck? If you want to eat fish, stop being so poor already.

It blows my mind that a grown adult is so fucking selfish. “If I can’t have it, no one can!” Cry more.

Fat jokes: the last vestige of people who truly have nothing intelligent to say.

If abstinence-only education made teenagers have less sex and therefore get pregnant less and get fewer STIs, I would still be opposed to it on moral grounds (like, it's wrong to impose your morality on people in public schools, and it's wrong to make teenagers who are having sex feel bad about it.) But it doesn't…

Voting for Shang

I will put $20 on the live Mulan remake not actually starring a Chinese person.

Whatever. Who needs New Hampshire when you've got John Oliver?

I am kind of embarrassed that I get that reference.

Hey, Tobias! How are the other Animorphs?

Correct me if I'm wrong, though, that this would violate health & safety laws (exposing food service to vomit) if not labor laws in most jurisdictions, right?

This is such an American sentiment. At Asian weddings people show up with red envelopes filled with cold, hard CASH.

"specific economics aside, no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them."

Why gifts? Give cash. Cash for the honeymoon, cash to shore up how fucking expensive this party is, cash for sex toys, cash to buy a house, cash cash cash cash. Why would you give someone a fucking thing for their wedding when cash is both chic (fits in a cute card, looks good with your dress), and useful.

Man. What a rubbish unicorn.