Awww, you looked at my other posts! That's nice. Man, I knew I shouldn't have commented on that story.

I'm not really on social media so I can't speak for Twitter and all that. It seems like it brings out peoples' worst side. People take it pretty seriously huh? I've watched the Feminist Video Series Which Must Not Be Named and I thought it was... boring, not very well-produced, and... academic?

I've read your post a few more times and saw you know you suffered abuse. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be flippant about that shit. The whole shitstorm is goddamn depressing.

"All I know is that when I read The Zoe Post, I could feel the cold touch of old, familiar ghosts. The duplicity, the cognitive dissonance, the hypocrisy, the gaslighting, the lies...it gives me a queasy deja vu." It sounds like you have a tiny bit of PTSD. I am an internet stranger, and have never met you or spoken…

Therapy?

Talking about something usually doesn't destroy it.

All guys penises are different sizes, but so are women's vaginas. Sure there are women here who like big dicks, but there's lots saying they don't. Society fucks with everyone's brains and makes them feel shitty whatever they look like. If you want enlargement surgery, go for it. But it might not make you as happy as…

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be dismissive or make fun! You probably could use some therapy. It sounds like it's only small according to you. But honestly I would never, ever think of that as small. That's all I meant!

This sounds like a fantastic mix of absurd and depressing. I didn't think it would look so friggin' cheap.

Dude sounds like a dick, but The Catcher in the Rye kind of made me want to puke as well.

Comme des Garcons ripoff?

That's the average size dude! You've been watching too much porn. If there is such a thing.

I know right? WTF.

Oh man. That's hilarious on several levels.

...BUT FOR HOW LONG?

Look out dude, there's a tidal wave of annoyance coming at you. Maybe because you seem to be implying that a girl with a boyfriend is wasting your time by talking to you when she's unavailable. Like she's just messing with you for fun? I know that's not what you meant. So anyway, don't be too peeved by all the…

Awww, romance!

Yussss!

Hahaaaa. Yup. "I wasn't tryna hit on you! I'm just talking!"

Step 4: Stare at their ear and drool slightly while humming to yourself. If they continue talking at you, make loud monkey sounds.