Same for me with humans!

I feel your pain. SO frustrating, I'd picked out the boots I wanted, tried them on... NOPE. Grrr.

I've... never played Metroid. I was born in 1986 and my parents didn't approve of video games. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Canada would love to have you! I'll put the pancakes and bear sausage on for you!

If he treats her like that in public, what's he like in private?

I was blonde when I was a kid, and neither of my parents were. Luckily they were anglo-saxon!

Does she need to apologize for posting a douchey photo to Facebook? I'm owed a lot of apologies, in that case. This is a typical Pinterest "fitspo" photo.

Dudes get raped while drunk too, "Prudence".

Naw, man. Ginger beer every time.

Ugh, I didn't know The Chive had a regular "gap feature". Although a lot of the girls featured just had their feet apart, so of course there's a gap, and it's just pictures of butts that your school browser won't block as porn.... still weird, though.

I'll see your puppy and raise you mine (I don't know if that makes sense, I can't play poker.)

Tina Fey was looking hawt! Hey, I just want to see the damn dresses.

For me, nine.

My god, what a gong show. The prosecutor seems to be a paranoid schizophrenic.

Bummer! So it isn't a gang thing like in Japan?

More like an F-cup! Like this girl's:

LOL, LOL indeed.

I think the old bathrobe is a great metaphor for depression. And I'd love to see an ad with a sad lady moping, then her happy and frolicking in the park, and then voiceover: "MDMA made me feel like me again! BUT SO MUCH BETTER!"

It's pretty common actually. Get a bigger bed?

Guns! See photo.