You want to hire models that are a healthier weight? In the words of Samantha Bee, “the fucking thing you have to do is just hire people” (who are a healthier weight).

Kidnapping and torturing children is all good. They’re your property after all.

I was once in the window seat of a row of three. There was a gentleman in the aisle seat. As the boarding process ended, it became clear that the middle seat was to remain blissfully empty and I felt immediate relief, until the gentleman picked himself up, scooted over, and started to lower his ass into the vacant…

Kinkajous are very, very cute:

“Is...is your cooter singing “The Wheels On The Bus?”

Also, those words are not solely or even most commonly defined that way. A telephone is shrill. An alarm clock. Intentionally choosing gendered shit to express a non-gendered adjective is irresponsible. Let people learn their bias from their shitty parents, as is tradition.

Tilda Swinton maybe? We all know she and Bowie were grown in a lab together somewhere anyway...

Well, of course. That’s how it works. That’s why it’s happening.

It is especially fucked when you compare how much work Gillian has done since X-Files ended compared to what David has done. Woman has worked her ass off and deserves to be paid accordingly, for both experience and keeping her name out in front of the public. David was in Californiacation, and that’s about it.

If that’s true, then okay, at least you’re not a hypocrite. I respect your willingness to confront what meat actually is (that is, animal carcasses).

Agreed. What really bothers me is that especially in the US, most people are repulsed by animal cruelty and they wouldn’t even be able to bring themselves to slaughter an animal humanely if they had to do it firsthand, but “hahaha meat is delicious tho.” The flippancy is pretty disturbing if you have the guts to…

I wish I could have little hens in my (non-existant) backyard! I wouldn’t eat them, only love them <3

No we can’t dance together no we can’t talk at all (because of that restraining order)

FINALLY we have a news item about a celebrity musician whom all the over-40 Jezzies can make/recognize lyrics puns for. “And when you smile for the camera [in your mug shot], I know they’re gonna love it” etc.

Hopefully after this he won’t go back, Jack, and do it again.

I wonder if they support equality in that? If so, I’m going to have to tell my husband to cover up or it’s purple nurple season around here! /sarcasm

So, here’s a crazy idea: when a kid reaches a certain amount of lunch debt, a social worker or school administrator reaches out to the kid’s family to try to find out why: is the kid going to school with lunch money every day and getting it taken on the way to school? Are they just spending it on chips in the morning?…

That isn’t even her best Christmas album. The best one is A Christmas Album from 1983. Its opening track “Tennessee Christmas” is its most popular.

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Dicks one time, but it was the ‘80s and things were weird back then.