As with most other things in Sochi, those burgers were assembled only three days ago.

Listening to Joe Buck's semi-profane response to the touchdown pass, it sounds like he had money on the Niners.

"Fifty-three yards into the wind? F that"

Wow, talk about unsportsmanlike conducting.

Irkutsk

There's only one man for the job.

Erik Spoelstra looked petrified. I don't blame him.

Darren Sproles value is soaring.

Rape Summit.

There were tears. A lot. On both sides.

aren't biathletes banned from this year's games?

Somewhere, Gisele is breathlessly exclaiming "My husband can't fucking high five himself!"

Ballon back d'Or.

This was the first issue I used for masturbatory purposes. I was 13.

It's nice to see some competitiveness from Lebron. It shows he's still a coldhearted assassin, like Jordan or Kobe or Jayson Williams.

• Peng Shuai vomited, then cramped up, and had to be helped off the court.

Great, Peng Shuai ruins another room.

Like graduate.

I think I might do some other stuff first.

"Way of Wade" might be terrible, but it's still better than his original choice, "Wya of Dwyane".