Drive through the central lower peninsula, and it’s not uncommon to be stuck behind someone driving a jacked-up pickup truck with not one, but two giant-ass confederate flags flying off the back.

Actions have consequences? What a novel concept!

“But see, I had to make sure that these were the bad Nazis, okay? It’s so much easier to immediately denounce hate when you can just check the color of their skin.”

I’ve often thought about doing that. Both sides of my family came over from Germany to northern New England at about the same time, early 1700's. So my family records—as best as we can piece them together—go back that far.

I wonder if your uncle would have the same response if one of his neighbors had a literal ton of shit delivered.

An eye-opening look into the power of hindsight is The Fog Of War.

I agree. Unless is’s being eaten by someone who clearly grew up during the Depression, I have absolutely nothing but distain for anyone who orders a well-done steak. Anyone under 85 who orders a well-done steak is a fucking moron. I remember going to a restaurant in a big group of colleagues once, and someone ordered…

Christ on a bendy bus! He’s as useless as a marzipan dildo!

My girlfriend and I just got engaged, and now I’m legitimately wondering if we’ll be getting married this fall, or if I’ll be getting drafted to fight Trump’s wars.

Or better yet, John Le Carre and Martin Cruz Smith-based movies.

Some channel should run a marathon of movies based on Tom Clancy novels, since that’s the universe we apparently live in now.

Right? I feel like I accidentally jumped universes and woke up int the Tom Clancy Novel parallel universe. How the fuck is this real?

“Most Popular Product in America”

It’s so hard to tell, because the flip side example is my parents—who have been diehard Republicans for years—who have said they will vote in every race this year, except the Presidential race.

I do get the vibe that some of these politicians are relieved that this tape came out, because it finally gave them a solid opportunity to say to their supporters, “See! I’m through with this fuckwit,” and they could drop the endorsement that they were pressured into from the beginning.

“Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik.”

“Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik.”

On behalf of all Lutherans, I apologize.