Unless! Unless he’s the rebel. There doesn’t seem to be one.

By virtue of being born to Trumpkin, he’s already richer than you or I will ever be and will have many, many opportunities that most of us would only dream of. And chances are he won’t grow up to be any better than Donald Jr. or Eric. In fact, having him grow up seeing his dad skewered by the left will probably make…

Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope…

I can’t decide if you’re really weird, really cool, or both.

I cannot tell you guys how much I miss Steve Irwin. His enthusiasm, his palpable sense of joy, his love for animals. I mean I love the Kratt Brothers but there was only one Steve Irwin and I’m so sad my kiddo isn’t growing up with him.

Is anyone really ever sorry to be “that guy?”

How are you even going to ask this bullshit? Were it classified, and since this had already been reported on, this would have been headline news if he was passing around classified information.

The idea of Trump shooting himself in the dick implies that he has excellent aim with miniscule targets.

Wow, his son is his Minime.

I absolutely support a person’s right to say no. No unwanted attention, no unwanted touching. Ever.

You presumably didn’t have a mansion on Lake Como full of household help. He’ll be fine!

Amal > Beyonce

I think that joke is pretty much a textbook Dad joke, which, at long last, George gets to make.

I assume it’s just the way our brains are wired. I still think about awkward things I’ve said and did that happened years ago, sometimes decades ago. I really wish I could find a way to let things go because I think I’d be a lot happier for it.

I think that is a good one too! No one cares what I’ve done. I also like to go with that everyone is weird as hell so whatever I said probably wasn’t a big deal after all. Sometimes, I even believe it!

Harder said than done for the anxiety wracked amongst us, but a good goal to work for. Another technique I’ve picked up over the years is to remind myself that people spend 99% of the time thinking of themselves and not thinking about a minor stupidity that an acquaintance said.

I just watched Sarah’s new special. I liked it a lot. Especially in comparison to Schumer and CK’s disappointments recently.

Garner is a pro, and she’ll always be a pro. Don’t come for Jen unless she sends for you, is what I’m saying. Seriously, that’s how you hit back at something without coming off as pissy and petty.

Christ, it’s like commenting on the Daily Mail. For the record, as a parent, you want to keep your boners away from your children.