this +1 wants to buy you flowers

What the fuck are you doin Phil

“Don’t worry about it.” - Antonio Cromartie

“Why would there be confusion if he spoke English? Joining us in in studio to discuss is Emmitt Smith.”

Actually trying to justify this is just digging the hole deeper. I’ll just shut up and accept that I’m human scum.

Roberto Cemente

CROM, WHERE IS DE WEEZARD WHO KILLED MY MUDDAAAAAAAH!

Ha! Now that’s funny! It's like my marriage with my ex, where I had those 'issues'? You know, like when you get all excited and ready to go, but then you just...can't....perform?! Haha! Boy, that sure was something when she, well, when she left me, leaving me with nothing but the constant, unwavering awareness that it…

waitwaitwait...there were 22,000 people at a Marlins game?

You are missing out, mate.

Our primary objective is to convert all biomass into one continuous sports complex that wraps the globe in fields and bleachers and box seats and concourses and slab concrete tunnels and hyper modern locker rooms where the walls, ceillings, and floors are coated in synthetic skin bio-engineered from the DNA of famous…

The only reason he joined Twitter is because someone told him he could block people.

Cool Story Bro: Was at a Bed Bath and Beyond in Houston several years ago, and out of the corner of my eye, this ball goes bouncing down the aisle, quickly followed by what I could only assume at the time was an alien spacecraft, a giant silvery blur. A few seconds later, Dikembe comes strolling back, ball in hand in…

I want to make that gif of Bautista getting punched into soap so I can bathe in it.

Rougie has assured his permanent place in Rangers lore.

If you read enough sports blogs you know when a good take is coming. It will name drop jocks from at least three sports. It will have parallel sentence structure. It will end with a swear word and an exclamation point. Fuck, yeah!

Not surprising. Normally Padres and Cardinals only agree nothing was seen when one of them actually touches someone.

Nice Underhanded Bern

Adam LaRoche isn’t like other professional athletes.

There are many, many people in professional sports (and collegiate sports for that matter) who don’t realize that they’re in the entertainment industry and think that what they’re doing is much more important than it is. Chip my man, you would be selling insurance right now if the fans, media and advertisers who pay…