No, no, vampires are real. Here's how it works.

"Simply remarkable," said the American woman. She turned to her companion. "You know it was something of a fashion towards the end of the 17th century, to paint children with grotesque or unusual animals. Little girls holding toads, boys with rats as pets, that kind of thing. Presumably it was some kind of reaction…

Now I know what the noise usually spelled "squeee" sounds like.

Absolutely agreed. "The Mummy" is superb popcorn fun. A pity they never managed to reproduce the same magic in the sequels.

"Mesa get own feature movie! Mesa gettin' very very excited!"

In post-Soviet Russia, grandmother is eat wolf.

I think the phrase you're looking for is "'Dat ass!"

The Cylindroids of Zeta Reticuli 7 are going to be knocking on our door any moment now ... Of course, if we sell them our new cloaking device, their microwave-eyed enemies from Sirius B are going to be mad at us and we'll find ourselves dragged into their centuries-long interstellar war whether we like it or not. I…

So by 'perfect', we actually mean "perfect if you happen to be a flat cylinder who needs to hide from creatures that see with microwave vision".

I used to work at a school for kids with learning difficulties. One child took an IQ test several times. His score got better each time: he tested around 80 the first time, but hit 110 on his last attempt.

I was being whimsical. But given that the question of cannibalism is specifically raised in the article, I guess the quality of my whimsy wasn't very high.

So, uh, does this count as cannibalism?

If you Google for a picture of Ian Fleming, you'll see that Fleming himself looks a bit like Carmichael, particularly in his younger days. Bond seems to have been in some senses a fantasy identity for Fleming, so saying that Bond looked like Carmichael was the closest that he could come to saying "James Bond? You're…

Is it just me, or does Blind Mole Rat sound like it should be the name of a blues singer?

Now I'm going to spend the next 10^25 years just worrying about that. Thanks a bunch.

Astronaut: "I was going to vote, but the lines at my polling place were really really long, and I had to be at work by ten ..."

I will never stop thinking that it's really called "Galacticus: Blood and Chrome".

My friend's cat, a big Russian Blue, brings home things he's stolen, possibly taken from washing lines or garden sheds. Apparently he has a fixation on gardening gloves. Usually he brings them home one at a time, but she says that she now has at least one complete pair, with two gloves from the same set stolen on…

I'd been working at the Goblet for a couple of weeks, and I was starting to get a feel for the patterns. Right after work on week-nights was always the busiest. Around eight-thirty or nine it emptied out, then filled up again around ten, then quieted down as midnight rolled around. The last hour before we closed was…

It was in response to the Great Smog that they passed the Clean Air Act of 1956 (hey, it only took them 4 years). Although the Act is no longer in force, I think it's still illegal to burn anything but smokeless fuels in London.