To your "post-apocalyptic King Arthur novels", please add Peter Dickinson's "Changes" series, an excellent YA trilogy that formed the basis of a BBC television series. The Arthurian connection is not explicit in two of the books - "Heartsease" and "The Devil's Children" - which could actually be read as a rather…

I've always thought that "we're here for your water" was just one of those things that invading aliens liked to say. It's like a big in-joke with them.

"Il y a des jours, un meurtre par jour n'est pas assez." ("Some days, one murder a day isn't enough.")

There was an interesting case recently in which photographer Philip-Lorca diCorcia was taken to court by a man who he had photographed, in public but without his knowledge. The judge finally ruled that the photographer was within his rights on the grounds of freedom of expression. [www.nyc24.org]

Bear in mind that in some states, taking video of police can lead to charges of 'wire-tapping' or 'unauthorized recording': the laws that are applied relate to sound recordings, and the fact that video cameras record audio means that the laws may be used to punish you if the officer doesn't want to be filmed. Still…

I visualized it going down like this

OK, I checked IMDB for movies with 'vs.' in the title. Based on that, I think we can figure out some of this summer's playoffs.

Who you gonna call? ("I ain't afraid of no loathesomely amorphous tentaculate horror from beyond the edge of space and time")

Of course she does. All our body parts come with a full owner's manual in 8 languages, including an instructional DVD and a handy quick-reference chart.

"She wants to what?" said Mr Wescott.

There is (or was) a bar in Brussels called "Le Cercueil" ('The Coffin'), just off the Grand Place, which has coffins for tables, serves drinks in skull-shaped tankards, and generally goes for a kind of "necrophiliac kitsch" atmosphere. It's not quite as full-featured as the Parisian bars, but it's quite a nice place…

"It is your birthday. Collect a torrent of viscid slime from each player."

"Will you go through the body scanner, sir, or would you prefer Agent Tentacles here to give you the 'enhanced' pat-down?"

January 2011: Reports of several bull sharks seen swimming through flooded streets in Brisbane.

The Mexican narcos may be imitating Al-Qaeda and some of its franchises and imitators, who have made beheading people that they abduct something of a signature move.

Vaginas? Really? I hadn't noticed. I only read cave walls for the articles.

Her name was Cat and she had a kind of nervous, skittish grace, an air of inviting fragility that left her lovers unsure whether they wanted to protect her or to break her heart. Whoever she dated would find themselves prey to conflicting impulses, the impulse to keep her safe warring with the impulse to smash her…

HULK WILD! HULK RUMPUS!

If loving inflatable shorts too much is wrong, I don't want to be ... wait, what?

"What he said", three times. Although all I can really remember from Acción Mutante is the line "We're the only ones left - the rest are all dumb or hip!"