My sister has defriended me FOUR times. You'd think she'd just defriend me and leave it, but she keeps refriending me and then being offended that I haven't change (yes, I will continue being that horrible liberal, atheist, feminist cat lover I've always been). Meh. I've stopped caring.

I need 80s shoulder pads to come back because I have really big shoulders and it already looks like I'm wearing them.

For Flossie's (Flossie is the good kitty) birthday, my mom and sister and sister's kids sent down presents. For Gracie's (bad kitty) birthday, my mom sent a card with coupons in it. Floss knows she's the favorite.

Once when I was sick, I woke up with a sock lovingly draped across my neck. It was the sweetest thing ever. Kitty love is the best kind of love.

I have two kitties, one who is always, always naughty, and one who is almost always good. The other day, my good kitty was naughty and knocked one of my favorite saucers off the dresser (where she is not allowed to play) onto the floor, breaking it. I had a minor freakout, moved the dresser to pick up all the pieces…

Really?

Even if I have a baby before I get married, my cats are still going to be my bridesmaids. Sorry human baby.

But the Mormons are still allowed to baptize you, right?

You know, I've watched the first couple of episodes of Girls, and I haven't thought it's too bad. I really liked the irreverence surrounding the abortion storyline. Still, I find the lack of diversity problematic. FFS, I live in Salt Lake City, and I have friends of many different ethnicities, orientations,…

I'm always surprised, too, at the number of seemingly reasonable, very well educated people who feel it's perfectly acceptable to say awful things about people with disabilities. I mean, I AM disabled, and they know this. It's astounding.

Well, they do shrink your nards, and I'm pretty sure that's where Mr. Canseco's brain cells are stored.

I was getting a haircut from a lady in my building about a year ago, and while we were talking she decided to express how surprised she was that our neighborhood wasn't that bad: "When I first moved here, I was worried. There are so many Mexicans! But it really isn't too bad." I just could not even. I don't know…

That's why more and more I can no longer be horrified by the right wing and I just have to laugh at them. Because it is just so unreal.

I overcoffeed right before a long trip and my friends had to stop the car just about every fifteen minutes so I could wee on the side of the highway between Wendover, Nevada and Salt Lake City, Utah. My tiny bladder is my enemy.

The governor is just jealous that he can't get an abortion. Those things rock.

Hey, I'm just another lesbian girl scout here for my monthly abortion.

Wait, wait, wait, so this WASN'T the end goal? Damn, and I thought I would make a fortune with my abortionplex megacenter 2000.

I want this to be my baby.

I just don't think I can be friends with someone who even CLAIMS to like Tom Cruise. Pic your faux crushes more carefully!

Or with chickens you eat their little fetuses!!!!