And here, Robo-pounding was when you had sex with a robot. Ah, regionalisms.

Vodka tampons to stick in their EYEBALLS.

Here in Utah, they actually scan your ID every time you go in a bar (privacy? that is only for the righteous who don't drink). So, even though I'm in my thirties, I had to spend about a year forgetting about the bar scene because I had difficulties obtaining a copy of my birth certificate, which I needed to get a new…

Spinsterhood is so awesome, everyone's trying to claim it these days.

Seriously? Crazy=not functional in/aware of reality. A lot of people have problems with addictions and cutting and even go to mental hospitals but aren't crazy. Addiction isn't the same as insanity. Depression isn't the same as insanity. Personality disorders aren't the same as insanity.

I like you.

Yes, we have the "mutton dressed as lamb" analogy, and I have had that worry before. But if that is a concern for you, I'd just advise wearing age-appropriate clothing and not trying to look too hip or funky.

So I take it "Offending Family and Friends Day" is Thanksgiving?

Aw, look at that KITTYYYYYY! One of my kitties is schlubbing around on top of the desk right now. Cute.

It is costume optional, though costumes are accepted.

I am obviously celebrating Happy Chronic Insomnia Day for about the third week in a row. So yes, PJs Schlubbing is mandatory.

I'm actually friends with Eliza Dushku's cousin—she was LDS mission companions with my sister. We have a lot of differing view (religion among them), but she is about as lovely and sweet and hilarious a woman as I have ever met. There must be something magical in that family.

I've hated Dr. Phil for years. The man is a fraud, a bully, and an idiot.

You know, I've been called a lot worse than "creep" just because I'm a woman who dares to stand up for herself or say I'm not interested when I guy is "expressing his sexual needs." Try bitch, cunt, whore—the list goes on.

If you think your appearance is making people uncomfortable—and that bothers you—perhaps you could do something to change your appearance. I know that isn't always easy, though. New clothes cost money, as do haircuts. I've been there. But, looking clean and neat will probably do a lot for you (you do say that you…

I don't like pot (it either makes me paranoid or sleepy), so I think we need to make some holidays dedicated to MY bad habits and addictions: Happy Chronic Insomnia Day, Happy Schlubbing Around in PJs Day, Happy Offending Family and Friends Day, Happy Unrestrained Lust Day, Happy Singing Loudly in the Shower and…

My neurologist actually advised it. Without it, I would have been sleeping all day because of my meds. Caffeine does affect some people's seizures, but others aren't affected. I've never had a problem with caffeine unless I'm seriously sleep deprived. I've also never had a neurologist advise me against drinking it.

When I was in college and extremely eating disordered plus constantly sleepy from seizure meds*, I used to drink 2 liters of (cheap imitation brand) Diet Coke a day. I lived on the stuff. And my electrolytes were always way, way out of wack.

First thing I saw. I was horrified and fascinated.

Suddenly, I'm incredibly grateful that my mom took absolutely no interest in me or my activities when I was a teen.