He was probably board, started rooting around in the garage, then hammered out a few ideas.

An ecologically friendly asshat.

You're barking up the wrong tree, missy. Bad puns are knot funny.

Too bad they called the cops. The perps would've made great hood ornaments for somebody's trophy truck at the Mint.

"I'll make you a deal on a new KIA! A perfect car for couples. Bring the wife and we'll dicker."

Damn, beat me to it. I gotta start coming to work earlier. Wait, what?

Feeling a little Blue?

Or maybe "Flight Professional?"

In regards to thing number 1, I just spent $4 in gas to spend $5 on Dorito tacos.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Dipr.

Burn all you want, we'll make more.

I would love to *hear* that on the street.

"The Petester" says "Hi"

Sho' 'nuf, pardner. 'Em's good eatin'!

Pretty much anything by Murray Walker. I grew up listening to Murray Walker and James Hunt doing the BBC Formula 1 broadcasts. James was the perfect straight man to Murray's "Walkerisms." Seriously, search Google or YouTube for "Walkerism" You will not be disappointed.

This reminds me of the Steve Martin bit "You can be a millionaire and NEVER pay taxes"

LOL! That's too good for the main page, I'm putting that on Oppo!

Davy.

/pic marginally related

I had a cat once that liked to jump into any new car that showed up at our house. It was not an uncommon sight for people who had just left to return 5 minutes later to let the cat out :)