She can report on the lawsuit about all the jobs being “internally outsourced” to immigrants at Disney World.

I don’t think I had the guts to say stuff like that when I was 29, let alone 9. I need to take her out for mozzarella sticks and ask her to be my life coach.

She’s too good, Disneyland wouldn’t want her. She’d be there ten minutes and uncover corruption and cotton candy price-fixing in the first ten minutes.