I horked.

Honestly, I was just worried it was Ron White, so this reveal turned out to be a big relief.

That she found a much older man isn’t the story here. It’s that the much older man happens to be Jon Lovitz. And that they teased out the big reveal over several meticulously crafted Instagram posts.

Getting to the end of that first item like

OK, first off: Jessica Who?

Shit—now I’m imagining someone combing some mousse through it.

Now, contrast that with the biological family who hasn’t been blasting her story all over Facebook and in the press, who have been working with Laci and the foster family to visit and build a relationship.

I suspect they won’t be allowed to foster any more kids in the future ...

Yes. This is why I am not a foster parent. I know I couldn't hack it. If you sign on for that, you sign on for temporary parenting. That's the gig.

“But this lovely family has cared for her for her whole life and is just fighting to keep their CHILD!”

Ding ding motherfucking ding. This girl could have had a safe, happy, short experience in the foster system and be that much further toward feeling secure with her relatives if they hadn’t fought her reunification every step of the way. Part of being a parent - foster or otherwise - is putting your kids’ needs ahead…

Exactly my thoughts. If they truly cared for her welfare they would have put on a brave face and smiled and told her that she’s going to live in a super cool place with fun people and that they will try to visit her as often as possible. Instead they chose to completely traumatize her with a media circus and…

I feel like their decision to release her name is telling.

Her father always had parental rights; she was never their child. She was never adoptable.

No, they haven’t. She’s been with them four years, and they were told at the outset (and repeatedly thereafter) that she was not adoptable and that family reunification was the goal of her case. As responsible fosters they should have put her interests before their own by trying to facilitate that reunification in a…

There have been a number of cases that have played out like this, although not always with the Native American element. A child goes to adoptive or foster parents; child’s parents decide they want her back (or, in the case of foster parents, never fully relinquish their rights), when the child is still a baby.…

The Inca practiced human sacrifice too. You can visit the mummies of some of the offerings if you’re ever in Peru.

It really sucks that the custody exchange was such a circus, and Lexi was exposed to the foster family crying and screaming, and random strangers showing up needlessly to add to the din. A 6-year-old can’t possibly process all that in a healthy way — it must have seemed intensely frightening and confusing. I’m…

She is not a toy, she is human.

Yet again illustrating how anyone who uses the phrase “paid by with your tax dollars” sounds like an asshole.