I want the Warriors to win, but more than that, I want to see elimination game James Harden. I love nothing more than watching him slowly loaf to either end of the floor throwing up bricks that could be airballs, while he stares off glassy eyed and coughs up double digit turnovers.

Yes, the Cavaliers team that struggled mightily to overcome the Indiana Pacers juggernaut is clearly an even bet against a healthy Warriors squad.

I do not think the the Warriors would be a pick ‘em against this Cavs team, I think they’d be pretty easy favorites.

Great piece and agree wholeheartedly. I just wanted to give a shout out to these two marvelous lines. 😘👌

it’s because the Warriors know more ways to score than standing around like fucking idiots while their Designated Ball User dribbles a Morse Code War and Peace into the hardwood in 22-second chapters.

I get that you lift, but given your fundraising numbers, it seems fair to ask ... do you even grift, bro?

We had a drink called “the latest technology” that was equal parts tab, jagermeister, and nyquil

Is there some available coach out there who has a secret plan for making James less good at basketball?

In many American cities, without their security detail, Ronaldo and Messi might get ICE called on them...

I’m pretty sure they make more than $130K.

This is amazingly mean and devastatingly accurate.

The Raptors have been in the league for about 20 years now. They have contributed two things to the NBA.

Five cheerleaders told Macur that the team had them serve as escorts...

Shaq says Barkley can save energy by hitting Green a quarter as hard unlimited times, so he never uses a full punch.

“Drake needs to be careful here; coming at Perkins can ruin your life.”

nobody actually likes any Queen songs.

“My best character trait, after being super smart and really nice of course, is how humble I am.”

He said it would be great for the league to find a compelling spokesman — preferably a player — to promote all of the good things they were doing together.

Stanton hit that ball so far

“so, Jane... Are you still a murderous communist that wants to fire anti-aircraft guns at our American HEROES before you LITERALLY spit in their faces and mock their dead friends? OMG! Hahaha! Loved your workout videos, by the way! You did those before you got all old, right? Super gross! Oh, c’mon. Before anyone…