We’ll probably see one of these teams after Saturday. Unless you’re suggesting the game will lead to their mutual destruction.

Guacamole is king of this list and anyone who says differently should drown in a sea of gasoline.

Walk away, J.R., she clearly already has the pipes.

The Nomo-Rocca connection is similar to a long-held opinion at my house. So what if my grandmother's ravioli is from a can, you condescending asshole?

Seen written over sky in Greenville:

Thank you for the support.

Thank you for consistently bringing attention to the gravity of the situation.

What he said.

We know he's effete, BUT IS HE ELITE??!?1?!

He's just using that fake name tag as a hook so he can ask that pretty lady if she wants a good badgering.

Brooke didn't faint. That's just how fucking boring cross country skiing is.

Stop, Randy, this isn't going to be good for any of us!!

The 15 in scare quotes can only mean one thing: Tebowmania comes to Cleveland in 2014!

Peter King is pissed he wasn't allowed to shoehorn Brett Favre into this discussion somehow. Maybe.

Deadspinfowars: Don't believe everything Big Records tells you!

Shanahan caught in traffic jam on his own personal Trail of Tears.

The Securities and Exchange Commission would be quick to remind people that this is not the first time "ballsiest" has been used to describe something a Switzer has done.

Dane Cook gives this nonsense the SuFi and then retreats to his empty home to weep.

My great uncle once slapped me on the back and told me, "Anfernal, the thing you gotta know about oysters is they make the clams wet." I was 11. He was a horrible human being and the oysters-as-aphrodisiac legend is complete bullshit.

Almond took no joy in this fight.