WARRANTY VOIDED!

Berman: When Ray Rice entered the elevator, he swung at Janey and she went back-back-back-back-back-back-back to the wall.

I can see why you'd be partial to Greg, Chris. Neither of you can finish a 40 yard dash.

Well, the Trojan is broken, but at least he pulled the little guy out in time.

Josh Shaw out: heroism.

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THERE'S NO CROSSFIT ON THIS LIST

He should have just donated the $100.

He really does it to fend off the slurs hurled at him by his rival, Trey Urugay.

You're like the Mel Kiper of fruit analysis.

Your buddy's mom just lost her amateur status, pal.

This reminds me of the Twitter bet I had with J.R. Smith where I won his pipe.

I'm not sure which is a stronger statement about America's broader understanding of economics. The fact that they thought this was a good line of defense or the fact that no one in any of these press conferences will think to ask the question you posed at the end of the article.

Second followup: "How far can you punt a football?"

It wasn't Carmelo. He wouldn't even pass gas.

hey clark2jd, fellow Redskins (oops! Its always has been and will forever be racist and will always offend so you can just fuck off) fan here. I very much was born, raised, and for some dumb reason in my late 20's still continue to live in the DC area, and here's the fucking thing: all the other options to cover the…

Hi, Redskins PR Dept. intern!

I wrote this sketch for (and with) Laverne, and someone sent me the link to this post on Jezebel. I've been reading the comments, which I've generally found to be thoughtful. I understand there's a great deal of sensitivity around the subject of trans, and that was absolutely a consideration when writing this piece. I…

DID SHE GIVE IT TO A KID?