OHHHHKAY....I think that is enough internet for today! (Goes and hides under bed at 47)

My favorite times were when she was old Colbert, and Stephen was SO enamored of her, he dropped his act!

Yep. And then he raided your pantry, and is pissed you are out of Doritos and Yoo-Hoo! #pretzlelogic 

I look forward in ten years to the Doris Kearns Goodwin book about everything that is going on right now, assuming we are not just a smoking crater. I am a stay at home dad, and a writer, and I STILL do not have time to keep up with all of this mish-gosh! BTW Jared Kushner is a certified douche canoe! Fuck this guy! #a…

Awesome! I am a white. Jewish. mid-forties male. I have a wife, daughter, and two sisters. I have told my 16 year old that if she or ANY of her friends need Plan-B, I will go buy it for them, no questions asked. Let’s see the pharmacist’s head explode when I roll up with cash to pay for it.  The fact that we are still…

I am in your brain!!! 

And they have cool lemur friends to hang out with!

BUT....How....WHY can he.....ARRRGH! I can’t even keep up with this bullshit anymore. My face is going to explode! I hate them SO much! Take me home Mrs. White!

Not a creepy headline at all. How about, “Hoping they fuck!!!!!!” Or even better, think of it like a mid nineties rom-com and title it, trying to fuck! #pattonoswalt

Hee hEE! Happy Halloween!

Awesome! Happy Halloween!

UMMM...I was a stay at home dad from my daughter’s birth, until 5th grade. My wife was a head librarian, and had to go back to work early, so I stepped up. When I went to the baby and me and toddler story-times, at my wife’s library in 2001 I was the only dad. LITERALLY the only one in a room of sixty moms for months.…

He’s that boyfriend you had when you just got out of college, who seems charming and worldly at first, but starts to grate on you as you grow up and realize you want more. That being said, he was still hella attractive in Inception......DAMMIT! #notamistakeatthetime

Wow! This guy leveled up from asshole to Douche-canoe in 8.5 seconds! #impressive 

“Mitch McConnell might look like a gourd, but he is not a gourd man. Case in point: He told reporters that it felt like Republican senators were “literally under assault” during the Kavanaugh hearings because demonstrators, many of them survivors themselves, confronted them over their decision to vote an accused…

Fuck these cowardly people! Cockroaches sure do stay out of the light huh? I was molested by my 5th grade male teacher. No one believed me, not the school, not my parents, not the police. This kind of thing just didn’t happen to boys, and I needed to stop lying to get attention. (direct quote) I only got some measure…

BUMP! AND SHARED! 

I can’t even with all of this shit! Take me home Mrs. WHITE! #clue