“Sweet Jesus. I told you to give each Elmo two TEST TICKLES!"

When your dream comes true, sometimes it’s not as awesome as you thought. Think about dreams: your favorite stripper with your high school chem teacher’s head. Also if your dream car is something like a 911, maybe something that intense for the rest of your life wears on you. Dreams change, but so do people.

While I was living in NYC during the fixie craze, I almost forgot bikes could have brakes.

You can hoard a LOT more of them before the county notices.

But how do you stuff an Italian diesel in a bike? I expect we'll know by Christmas.

It won't necessarily be because of weird brakes. Brakes on NYC bikes in general are like turn signals on BMWs. They're there, but owners don't know why.

I guess in 2021 this is too old for most, but if you drive a Microbus, you’re holding weed. I had a guy flag me down at 4 AM one time to ask if I could hook him up. I couldn't.

One! One used up ZR1! Hahahahahaha!

Painting it brown will be pretty easy, but getting a diesel and a 5-speed into it, well, I'll look for that article.

Everybody assumes it has to be a truck or an SUV when the answer is plainly a 10 year old Bentley.

Pretty sure he wants to go fast when he's not towing, in a rig that can also tow competently, but before I read the article I was thinking what you were.

Is it making things less dark, or less heavy?

I would routinely ride up 10th/Amsterdam Avenue in Manhattan from 44th Street to 123rd at 25 mph and not hit a red light. You have to do it at night when traffic doesn’t ruin it, and maybe the pattern changes at night too, but after midnight during the week it was a given.

In South Egremont, MA, speed limits are based on some logical, getting-town-revenue-from-out-of-staters conclusions. That's why they change about five times in two miles just east of the state line.

I used to dust people in a '66 Microbus when lights turned green, and that thing had the horsepower of a pretty nice weedwhacker. But I floored it.

The power to weight factor is smaller than most people think. My ‘65 Cadillac with no AC was about 4000 pounds, probably the same as a midsize crossover now. The hottest muscle cars were usually pretty stripped, obviously didn't have any of the safety stuff cars have today, and AC wasn’t near as universal in the ‘60s,…

I tend to ride bikes from decades/countries where the octane number in the owner’s manual doesn’t match the number on the pump. (I’m in the US.) My Triumph and my BMW both called for 97; they ran fine on 92. Currently I put 91 in my ‘72 Yamaha because the 91 at my usual chain is 0% ethanol, and wrecking the crankcase…

In 1997 I crashed my Triumph Bonneville head on into a Mercedes. Broke both wrists, jammed my junk hard into the gas tank, somersaulted over the bars/hood/windshield. When the EMTs got there, one asked me if I could feel anything below my waist. “Some warm liquid.” “That’s antifreeze.” So after a pretty serious hit,…

I believe staying in gear with the clutch disengaged at a light is bad for the throwout bearing.

Do you know how many fewer Dodge Chargers there are now because somebody greenlit The Dukes of Hazzard?