Fun fact: since joining the White Sox, opposing batters are posting a 0.309/0.386/0.619 slash line against James Shields!

“These are the healthiest players ever.”

I think most are dead.

Yeah, Salazar is definitely in the gray zone... maybe the black zone.

It is mind blowing how clear Univision’s position was and how confused half of the commentariat was about what liability means.

As a director at my place of business, I can wholeheartedly say I do nothing. And it is glorious. My life has never been better, quite frankly. I wouldn’t trade this position for the world.

I’m going to have to get used to HamNo on Deadspin. I thought this was going to be an article advocating firing half of MLB’s managers. (Which would be great.)

I can’t believe how far I read before I realized that might not be verbatim.

Then sue the person who videotaped you and then let the video leak to the public forum. Same with JPP - his beef should be with the institution that allowed his records to be released to the public, not the entity that made them public knowledge.

“Publishing his actual medical record crosses a line.”

Define ‘personal info’.

Nobody stopped paying Hulk Hogan money because they saw him fucking Heather Clem.

This is why Trump is so appealing to a certain subsection of the population. He makes politics, including INCREDIBLY complex international relations and ethnic conflicts he or most Americans couldn’t begin to understand (and I include myself in that group), seem so damn simple. And, for some reason (a combination of…

“People don’t know this about Iraq, but they have among the largest oil reserves in the world.”

If only Steve Jobs had loved chemo, we could ask him.

Engineer: “Tim, what is the plan on the new phone?”

Cook: “Lose the jack, ain’t no going back. We got little to lose and much to gain because in my brain is a capitalist migraine. If upgrading the accessory becomes necessary then we see double green... shipping cash to Ireland know what I mean?”

Any word on whether Sandusky will be furloughed to be a part of the festivities?

Did you mean thquad?

PICTURED: Mike Tyson Baskin’ after alleged Robbin’.