Whoa now let’s leave Russell Wilson out of this

@BillSimmons

Can’t you miserable people be happy he’s making that kind of money?

When my brother and I were little, we did “gymnastics” at this local place in town. Really, it was just us rolling around on the mats, hanging on the bars, and climbing through tunnels. It was recreational fun. My parents were happy to have us out of their hair for an hour or so.

Sharp came under suspicion a month ago when he began telling people he “went to Jared.”

Take them to school, dipshit.

If you ask me, it’s pretty tasteless of that fan in the parking lot to reenact such a dark moment in Chiefs’ history.

This is the first thing I see when I open the internet today. Who knew a 15 year old from Iowa could give me such joy on my birthday? I feel like Jared Fogle.

My dog had the same eyelid surgery as Lisa. They actually had to remove the foreskin from his penis to create new eyelids. He is perfectly fine now, just a little cockeyed.

When it comes to Celtics uniforms I have a Bias

Very disappointed in you, Burneko. I mean, subtle plagiarism is one thing, but lifting your title straight from the Ford Field home locker room walls?

NFL: you abused the sacred ball and we will flatten you with our justice hammer

I found this article hard to take seriously after the first guy professing his newfound love for the star wars prequels.

Renaud is actually pretty famous in the French speaking world for his softball exploits, but not nearly as famous as his brother Abandon.

I am a male ally for feminism. Jezebel played a part in making that happen.

“We can neither confirm nor deny the existence or nonexistence of a criminal investigation until such a time as a person is charged with a crime,” said Hamburg Police Chief Gregory G. Wickett.

“What are thoooooose?”

Terrible impression. Shot 100%.

How has no one picked up on the fact that two prominent free agents had a name within a name: LaMarcGasolDridge? Seems like this should be bigger news.

Of course Bass didn’t respond, that reporter was looking for treble.