There are a lot of Lovecraft stories that are page after page of the narrator describing something horrific in annoyingly vague terms, only to reveal the horrifying thing in the very last line of the story. It basically amounts to a story with one interesting line and then a bunch of fapping about just to get there.

There’s an old baseball joke - a member of the front office tells a player, “Hey, did you hear? We traded Player X.” The teammate responds, “Great trade! Who’d we get?”

I’ve never seen Men at Work. My only exposure to it is Sheen’s monologue when he hosted SNL many years back. They did a “questions from the audience” bit, and someone raised their hand and said, “Yeah, I saw Men at Work in the theater....” And Sheen just gives the guy 20 bucks. 

It’s a demanding and admittedly weird degree program.

Lynch does write seem to write a lot of scenes where he gets to kiss beautiful younger women, though obviously that’s not nearly the same thing as creepy #MeToo behavior. 

Isn’t there a line during one of her sessions with Hannibal where she mentions she has a “preference” (or similar word) for the wrong kind of genitalia to ever have children? 

Shakespeare’s my favorite writer, but I’ll admit I’m generally not a fan of his comedies. They rely to a large extent on archaic puns and wordplay that don’t really translate to the 21st century - someone (I’ve forgotten who) once joked that you can forgive people who miss Shakespeare’s double entendres, since…

A lot of the little things like that have suffered over the last few seasons, presumably a result of budget cuts. For example, I think the show’s guns look really chintzy - those tranquilizing rifles might as well be Nerf guns, for example, and that dinky little piece “Sarge” was carrying around last season looked…

I feel this way about comments sections for advice columns. People are just dying to rain down condemnation on either the letter writer or the people they’re writing about.

Letter Writer: My mother-in-law recently gifted us an expensive new vase, but it’s ugly as sin. My wife and I never keep it out, but when the M-I-L…

James Paxton was great in this - such a weird combination of creepy and dorkily enthusiastic about the whole situation. That conversation between him and Coulson in the power transfer chamber was a highlight.

The problem with Supermarket Sweep is that all anyone cares about is the titular sweep at the end of the show, but to get to that you have a question and answer section and some other lame-ass games. Dammit, I demand an all-killer, no-filler version of Supermarket Sweep.

You can’t even smell the nerd BO. What kind of bullshit comic con is this?

“Shut up, Menken!”

Elon Musk’s problem isn’t that he wants to be a real life Tony Stark - it’s that he wants to be the Tony Stark from Iron Man 2, which is not the conclusion you’re supposed to draw from his character arc. 

The book is not terribly good, but I can see this being a case of an adaptation improving on the original novel. The book itself is very episodic before tying the strands together at the very end, so the structure for a TV show is already there, and you can just chuck the mediocre prose.

The best argument for Joel I’ve heard is that Mike was just technically much better, but his much more, for lack of a better word, “professional” approach robbed the show of its shaggy, low-budget, just-a-few-dudes-from-Minnesota-watching-movies vibe.

Man, Agents of SHIELD continuing the proud Marvel tradition of making me cry at things that, logically, should not in any way make me cry.

Yeah, the whole “Mike vs. Joel” argument is pretty gauche and unfashionable these days, but I always felt like Mike was demonstrably better at the job.

When the current cultural environment is robbing us of the visionary genius behind the Hawaii 5-0, MacGuyver and Magnum PI remakes, isn’t it time to acknowledge that #MeToo has gone too far?

Damn ultra-violent Canadians. When will their blood lust finally be slaked?!