One of my favorite little unanswerable questions (that’s surely much less fun than I imagine) is: what’s the least disliked movie of all time? Not the best movie ever, or even necessarily the most popular, but the movie that the fewest people on Earth dislike.

On the one hand, I know you shouldn’t judge a person’s character by their appearance. I know it’s irrational to believe that bad people look bad and good people look good.

I do hope filmmakers eventually figure out that “Shakespeare, but from a different point of view, man” is not an inherently fascinating idea.

“Boopy doopy doop boop sex” always does it for me.

Hader is one of the best game show hosts SNL has ever had - he somehow manages to turn those hosts into characters in their own right every time.

There was also that Las Vegas basketball series with Malin Ackerman that Yahoo advertised every time you streamed Community.

“You are so English!”

This was my reaction. Marsden’s phenomenal, but I don’t really see him as a Stu Redman type (Hughes’ description of Stu is a little unfair - he’s an everyman, yes, but he’s more an exemplar of simple decency and common sense intelligence than a blank slate). I can easily see him as Larry Underwood or even Flagg -…

The episode of Brockmire where...um, Brockmire, visits Gabby’s church in an effort to discover a higher power as part of his AA experience.

My high school English class made us get our parents’ permission before we could watch Romeo and Juliet. I brought home the permission slip and told my parents I needed a signature so I could watch the movie in class.

I’ve never read a Stephen King book I’ve regretted reading, and I’ve read a lot of damn Stephen King books. Doctor Sleep is way, way down on everyone’s ranking of his novels, but it’s mostly fine. Some quintessentially creepy King passages, some quintessentially late model King bloat. 

All I remember about the 2000 movie is an unpleasant scene of a drug dealer taking a shit in front of Christian Bale. Which seems like an appropriate memory, really. 

Look, filmmakers, if you’re going to make a three-hour movie, I need a joke about Captain America’s ass somewhere in there. That’s just Screenwriting 101.

Season three was the first time it felt like the show was flailing a bit. Still funny, still emotionally affecting, but the season was never quite able to find that delicate balance of anarchic energy and leak-proof plotting. Bringing the show down to Earth really brought the show down to Earth. So this is probably…

One of the ever-present dangers of the road, no matter where in the country you are, is that something about driving on the highway activates people’s vigilante instincts. Everyone seems to think that they’re Batman Of The Highway, and it’s their job to enforce the rules of the road. Or, even worse, their particular…

If nothing else, Tom Ellis has been a damned revelation. He manages to effectively portray Lucifer as an over-sexed hedonist, an immature child and a genuinely sensitive soul, even when the last bit is conveyed through some really ham-handed writing. 

National Anthem is one of those stories that executes its premise well, but it can be a struggle to even get past that basic idea. “The One Where The Prime Minister Fucks A Pig” is a tough sell and I think the nutshell description of the episode makes it sound so stupid that it colors how we view the whole thing.

#AsianPride

More about my own circumstances, I suppose, but Assassin’s Creed 3. I was unemployed when the game came out, and when I finally got a full-time job AC3 was my big “congratulations on your new job, Self” purchase.

Waterworld was so famously expensive that it was used as a gag in the Tex Murphy videogame The Pandora Directive - the player can find a newspaper article announcing that Waterworld finally broke even in the year 2043.