This is a good joke until you realize there is not a chance in hell gronk could do that math. Edit: and then I realize that it adds up to $70, so the joke is actually perfect.

Gronk: *silently calculating*

Let me get that plate tho.

Well, there was that Hulk Hogan thing...

“Sadly it becomes a decision between chasing your dream or giving in to the reality of the financial burden.”

barkne would have tripled your stars, newb.

Sounds like marketing for a crossfit gym.

Somebody was listening to Chris Carter.

I stopped reading at “severe food poisoning twice a year.” I’m an eater of sketchy food (both old and purchased at dirty places). I have only had food poisoning ONCE (Mongolian BBQ). So, I call either bullshit or too dim to have worthwhile insight. Twice a damn year? For how many years? What the fuck are you eating?…

Cheeto Hitler

I hope the short-term ratings boost was worth it, Rachel =\

Not funny, and baseless.

Getting drunk AT the sporting event? Who am I, Rockefeller?

It’s not just that the Wolves beat the Warriors, Clippers, and Wizards in the past week, but Rubio thoroughly outplayed Wall, Paul, and Curry in those games*. Like beat the pants off of them. If you only saw those three games you would assume that RR is the best PG in the league.

Due to the coloring of the court, every Wolves clip looks like a conspiracy theory video. Look at this picture and tell me that it doesn’t look like the Wolves player is possibly the second gunman.

At the end of the game, Jim yelled out “Who’s got it better than us?” and in unison, the family screamed “Nobody!” and then everybody went inside and had pancakes and fucked. The Aristocrats!!

Unless you specifically get an injury guarantee, your salary is absolutely dependent on staying on the field.

We actually have water you inbred liberal

All physical and eyewitness testimony shows that the “gentle giant being murdered” story was complete bullshit from the start, but you’re trying to convince people who are going to go through all sorts of mental gymnastics to keep their “white men are evil” narrative.

Michael brown was shot to death after he charged a police officer, which happened after Brown assaulted the officer in his car and tried to reach for his gun, according to multiple African American eye witnesses. The case caused an outcry when Brown’s friend lied through his teeth and said Brown did nothing wrong and…