Perfectly good joke ruined by parenthesis.

It’s not always about black and white!

Pretty funny stuff for a guy who was suspended for the first six games of the year.

Man, on the heels of B.o.B.’s bullshit earlier this week, it’s like everybody has to disagree with Newton.

Is it just me or do Seahawks fans remind you of people who came into money quickly, only to discover they can’t handle being rich?

Mommas don’t let your babies play football as babies, either. This case is important because it shows that it’s not necessarily a long career in the NFL that does it — the damage done when playing peewee, high school, and college count, but no one talks about it. Scary shit.

“Ugh, Twitter bugs me. Reading it makes me feel icky.” - Guy who works for website that helped a prostitute blackmail the CFO of a rival company, leading to the resignation of half the website’s writers/editors.

Holy shit get over yourself.

Next up: I think ketchup tastes bad, so I don’t eat it: a 7000 word glimpse into the human soul.

#whocares #silverlivesdontmatter

You two don’t realize the comment was about supply and demand?

It is very hard to make a good living doing something that anybody can do. Ironically, that is both drive an uber, and act.

When you look past the online narrative that all Patriots fans are assholes (or at least that there are a higher percentage that are assholes than for other teams), most of us feel the way Armytrixter does. Denver’s D carried that game, and the Patriots quite honestly just failed to come through on so, so many…

I love my Patriots, but hot damn does Denver deserve all the credit for this game. Their defense played as close to perfectly as they could. Miller was truly terrifying and the Pats O-line had no answers at all in that game.

You’d think her parents would have understood before the 100th time.

Great. Now Rocky is stealing that Patrice O’Neal joke from Amy Schumer.

I gave you a star but then I saw you called it “dope” and I took it away.

I think the logic is that if someone consents to risky behavior (unprotected sex) then they are accountable for the results (a child).

“It only takes a small tweak to rid the game of intentional fouling”

I don’t understand how any of this helps me make $40/hr working from home using Google.