As just some random guy at a desk slacking off at work... this is interesting AF.

If James Mattis is a traitor I’d honestly like to know what that makes you.

Here’s a really important one: If you are late, it’s probably your own fault. Don’t take it out on everyone else.

Very rarely are you late because of a cyclist, pedestrian or slow moving traffic. You are late because you waited until the last minute to leave and expected perfect conditions on the road. So now, you are…

“You think the clock is your ally. You merely manage the clock. I was born in it. Confused by it. I didn’t use the run until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but BLINDING. Challenges betray me, because they belong to you.”
-B̶a̶n̶e̶ Andy Reid, seconds before breaking a Kit Kat over his knee

“Why is it so hard to run out the clock?”

You make this sound like it’s a bad thing.

Yeah, let’s blame it on those pesky millenials! Let’s not blame it on a range of motorcycles where the lightest weighs as much as the Death Star, the cheapest is still fucking expensive, the most powerful couldn’t pull the dick off a chocolate mouse, the most sporty has the dynamic prowess of a bag of shot badgers and…

Oh boy. Even mentioning calories now is “fat shaming” fantastic.

The first thing the reporter said got me going.

I did the same thing when I bought my Trans Am; skipped looking at the LT1 cars and went straight for the LS1. LT1 isn’t a bad motor, but the LS1 is better.

Sad story but when ranking climbs, I still think the most famous climb involving a Kennedy was when Jackie climbed onto the back of the limo in Dallas back in ‘63.

“Yeah, uh, we got the piece you need. Actually, I have no idea what you’re looking for. Let me dial my supervisor in Paraguay. GET IN THE ZONE!”

It brings me joy that Best Buy has been reduced to the world’s largest cell phone accessory mall kiosk.

It is like a field of unfinished Tim Allen jokes.

Or, you could give it to someone who really needs a car.

Horsepower.

Horse people are the worst. Boats are awesome and I wish I had one so bad. Pitbull people are worse than both though. WE GET IT, it’s the owner not the dog. It’s the exact same with every breed. Here’s every insufferable pitbull apologist social media post:
 
*Picture of pitbull snuggling baby* OH WOW LOOK AT THE…

Boat people are fine. Sailing people, people that race, those people are probably worse than horse people.

I’m a boat person, so this is really easy.

2! Minutes!