Everything is NOT going to be okay. I haven’t a single hunting class in my entire life! How will I ever get by?

People actually DO this?

The pain of his economic anxiety is very sharp.

Exactly. My mom was almost 41 when I was born, so she was 54 for a good amount of the time I was 13. Also the article mentions a 54 year old man with his son. It doesn’t say how old the mother is.

This has to be the most American thing ever.

Take me out at the ballgame...

If only the victim had had a gun to protect her.

This is why trademarks over common words are stupid :|

Sharia is already in America. We just call it evangelical Christianity.

He can be a salesman, manipulative asshole and have dementia all at the same time.

Ben Carson’s favorite Ronald Reagan quote is “I’m from the government and I’m here to make sure you’re as miserable as possible.”

:furiously searches for “Quasar Funk” in an Obama remarks transcript database:

I remember campaigning for Obama in 2008. I was selected to give a speech to introduce him at a rally, after which, he thanked me by name on television. After his rally, I met him backstage and had photos taken.

I know, right? Forget straight up racism in Boston. Ain’t nothing as “insufferable” as Oaklanders running with a Drake lyric.

You’re on vacation, Westbrook.

BUT WAIT IT HAPPENS EVERYWEAH NOUGHT JUST BAWSTUHN!!

“I went to a Red Sox game and Curt Schilling campaign rally broke out...”

Oh OK, that makes it cool, then! Good point.

Just to be clear, in case anyone is wondering why the Tennessee Legislature was honoring a Louisiana pastor in the first place:

Math professor: