$1 million is not enough

How is that an embellishment of a symptom though? That’s clearly one of THE first signs of a possible STD infection. Come on, now.

“But otherwise showed no sign of infection”. Pardon me, but doesn’t GREEN DISCHARGE from the PENIS scream infection? How many signs do you need?

Usher paid a little over million dollars to a former sex partner after exposing her to herpes, which she later contracted.

I didn’t know I was dying for a remake until I just heard it.

For a song about butts I thought I see some butts. If you know what I mean? It’s 2017 and women are out there doing squats like all the time.

This prick used her as a sponge for his frustrations in life. Setting her up to fail and then beating her when she did.

Honestly, I think this guy might be my least favorite person on the WH staff. He’s like Steve Bannon, but if Bannon were a 14-year-old boy high on Adderall and misplaced arrogance. In fact, I’m starting to suspect that he’s some kind of evil clone child, a la Mini-Me from Austin Powers.

You missed a boner.

These details keep leaking out like...

Something about A-Rod gives me mad “RUN LADY, DO NOT TRUST ME” vibes. Damn J-Lo, back at it again with the terrible taste in men.

Oh how far we have fallen.

“My mother would have loved you.”

remember when America had classy leaders? oy vey.

We used to have it all, rolling in the deep...

Dude is a low life, so no surprise he’s in the sock game. The sock game is one of the most brutal industries, right up there with the drug game. A single misstep could have you wearing a toe tag.

Yeah that’s due to the spine removal procedure everyone must undergo to appear on Fox News.

copy editor: better make sure this is right