Hey now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. They’re both heinous trolls and vicious fascists.

Every time Kellyanne Conway speaks, a bird flies into a window.

That is a very good question that would make an honest woman feel shame. But not Kellyanne, the plucky, gaslighting fascist traitor to her gender. She turns around and shames a teenager for asking it.

Looks like “drunk bloat”

Blondish-greenish? Does he shampoo with chlorine?

Yeah, that guy’s a Bond Villain, no doubt. With the Netherlands so close to the sea, my bet is either a submersible death ray or an old abandoned offshore oil rig repurposed to fire ballistic missiles.

Getting a strong Christopher Walken as Max Zorin in A View to a Kill vibe from this tool.

The Hole!

Yea, that’s why I put the caveat at the beginning.

Not sure about that swelling but the powder?

Where the fuck is Shelly Miscavige?!?!

Yeah, Clearwater, Florida, is one town I intend to spend my life avoiding like the plague.

He’s trying to look like his idol, Poppin Fresh....

Came to ask the same thing. Tom Cruise, you are not ageless and immortal like Lestat. Stop trying, you’re ruining your face.

Really. All he needs is one of those face-pube goatees and a golf bag and he’d blend in with any midwestern middle-manager on his way to a second wife.

Like that poor woman in Florida, Lisa McPherson, who died after they tried to “cure” her emotional problems.

Cruise can’t leave because they make you confess all your “sins” when you join up so they’ve got all the dirt on him, like they do Travolta and all the others. Tom can run but he can’t hide!

J E S U S C H R I S T