Roethlisberger looks like someone tried to make Will Ferrell in Fallout 4 but fucked up.

Let it be known that Dave McKenna’s contributions to this in Slack were the puns “Knoblauch that kick!” and “Shankiel.”

Peter King is not a capybara. Capybaras are the kings of rodents, and even the lowly pizza rat has better taste in food than Peter King.

Very misleading headline. Completely agree with this statement. Seems as though the author is writing an article mostly defending their choice to live alone to a person who never really asked the question.

Germans have a weird affinity for red and black color schemes.

hold on, guy from Germany

What do you think is the worst vegetable? I say onions. I’ve never eaten something and said “You know what? That could’ve used onions. That would’ve really made it better.” They could disappear of the face of the Earth and I wouldn’t care or notice.

“It’s not ‘he doesn’t have to fuck you now,’ it’s ‘he doesn’t have to fuck me now.’ WELL I SAY HE DOES HAVE TO FUCK ME NOW!”

Duck Fuckers!

“Duck!” at Abraham Lincoln

Actually, Parks and Rec was good.

Neither. Trump is the ideal candidate of the current Republican party membership. He represents everything they idealize, which is how he got nominated in the first place.

By “we” Barry means himself, and possibly me if Barry is busy

You bought me a drink at the bar after the awards! I included tip.

Why did Samer venmo me $15 with a thumbs up icon the night of the Deadspin Awards?

I recently met a vegan Crosfitter who answered the age-old question.

Brave.

Gambling-related names are apparently off the table, per the NHL’s instructions.

He should try for the Vegas job. Roy is beloved in that town.

I dunno...KRS-One, Eminem or Rakim might have something to say about that.