Update: WEAR A FUCKING RAINCOAT. UGHHHHH.

I was gonna wear my Phil Kessel jersey but decided on my only suit with a nice royal purple shirt. I have brought it to my office and might even use my mini-steamer and shine my shoes, because what else am I going to do at the office.

1996. Super Bowl XXX. Neil O’Donnell threw an interception to Larry Brown for the second time that night, ending the Steelers’ comeback drive and sealing the game for the Cowboys. I ran into the bathroom so no one would see me crying. I guess I had watched most of the games that season with my dad, and all of the…

We all knew this would be the first comment and we all applaud you for your service in doing what was necessary, nay, what was right.

Tales from Topographic Oceans is SO GOOD.

This is tough, because I think I became generally aware of news around a time that there wasn’t anything of quite the same magnitude as Challenger or 9/11. I know I can remember the first Clinton election (I was in kindergarten), because we held a mock election at school that day. I also recall Waco, if only vaguely,…

It’s funny you mention Boston in regard to the city-wide uniform color scheme, as the Bruins protested when the Penguins proposed switching from their then blue-and-white to the Pittsburgh colors.

Speaking of fashion, thought that maester at the Citadel could’ve chosen a shirt that popped more.

Holy shit, LeBron would be incredible at volleyball. This is a good take.

I was worried this take would pull a 2016 Warriors move and spew molten lava all the way through only to blow it in the final paragraph by missing out on a chance to shit on Pats fans.

Aside from the answers already given, oddly enough, the LA Kings beating the Rangers for the Stanley Cup a few years back. I had invested so much in hating that Rangers team.

1) Conn Smythe is for the whole playoff.

1) As an out-of-control crowd was a possiblity regardless of the outcome, this would not have been a jinx.

Yeah, fuck this Shaun guy. Zoos kick ass.

Baby sloths and baby bats are cute as fuck.

“Remember, under NHL rules, two OT losses are worth as much as a win, so the Pens can clinch the Cup Thursday night simply by forcing overtime.”

When in Rome...

Last Steeler I’d call elegant? Hines Ward.

What if I told you that the bananas you buy ARE mostly clones? Many kinds of produce and commercial flowering plants are grown by cloning specific individual plants. They’re called “cultivars,” and in the case of apples, you know them by name (McIntosh, Granny Smith, Gala, et cetera).