Relocate NYC to somewhere WARMER??? Are you insane, Drew? There are like three nice days in NYC between the cold (which is endurable for anyone sensible) and the onset of summer, when the hot sun bakes the grid into a urine-steamed garbage prison sauna.

Thank you for doing us all the service of providing the exact dumb and bad take we expected to be waiting in the comments.

BOFA DEEZ NUTS

I had a similar reaction, but in defense of the tweet I think it’s a mistake in language, not math. The intended meaning may have been “the jersey number that equals the absolute value of -50” rather than “the jersey number whose absolute value equals -50.”

Counterpoint: THOSE SONGS HOLD UP.

“Maybe next time do 60 minutes of this and play hockey between periods.” Tampa was certainly doing their best to provide minimal hockey content in periods 2 and 3.

To be fair, he wouldn’t have been in that position if not for Snoopy’s error at shortstop earlier in the inning.

What kind of Chipotle has a sour cream GUN??? I have only ever seen them spoon it out of the metal tub!

Counterpoint: Davos Seaworth is easily the best GOT character.

“Even if the show is moving away from ol’ GRRM’s extremely dank and not-at-all exhausting worldview”

Yeah, I see toupees all the time, and am always horrified by how noticeable they are — it makes me think, what obvious thing about me am I oblivious to while it makes me a laughingstock to everyone I meet?

Definitely my first thought.

Catastrophe, if you are not familiar, is a very funny half-hour comedy starring Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney as an eponymous couple that gets married after Sharon becomes pregnant following a quick few days of sex.

I actually think “Edge” is pretty great. It reeks of a parent who was like, “Yeah, fuck it, call him Edge!”

“If anything, your party’s identity today is that of a bunch of corrupt, racist, gun-toting kiddie diddlers who would block Congress just to keep them from building a goddamn road. That’s your brand, amigo.”

Jesus, and I thought Burneko’s takes were bad these days.

“The dreaded Laremy.” Well done.

God Tier: Cocoa Krispies, Reese’s Puffs, Kashi Berry Fruitful, Crispix.

Yeah, this was my exact thought on reading the headline. “Did the NYT just, like, see the Holtzclaw piece and think, ‘Hey, let’s do a less extreme version of that’?”

Leave Taylor be; she will rule us all soon enough.