too lazy too look up a clip of this but you’ve all seen Jurassic Park
“HE LEFT US! HE LEFT US!”
“But that’s NOT... what I’m gonna do.”

When will you all realize that the fake Taylor *is* the real Taylor?

Also, live in NYC and it is a pile of garbage and easily the worst city I have ever been to.

Can also confirm that, at a number greater than negative infinity, Philly is too high.

All of those things are objectively false except the last one.

Can confirm Pittsburgh is too low.

Can confirm Pittsburgh is too low.

This is the most heinous lie I’ve ever read. It’s salt & butter, “kettle,” caramel. The end. Ugh.

I just put it in an oblong Tupperware container upside down (as in, the butter is on the lid), which keeps it airtight. It’s never gone bad (and I don’t use butter nearly to the degree some people do) except one time when I went on vacation and left it out.

https://xkcd.com/165/

I think you’re looking at urinal phone use all wrong! It is well established that for the pee-shy, reading material (or another means of focusing attention elsewhere) can be very helpful. In this case, it has nothing to do with self-importance or addiction — literally nothing I do on my phone is important — but it’s…

This depends on whether the Red Hot Chili Peppers are there to exhort Ice not to stop, but to continue.

Can we get a list of Pokemon ranked by how tasty they would be? I feel like Magikarp is up there, along with Farfetch’d (which is already an existing food in real life).

Zubat is fucking bomb. This whole list is a heinous lie.

Burneko, you should’ve started and ended with the Cam Newton take, the only thing I’ve been able to read all the way through without wanting to punch a wall EVEN THOUGH I AGREE WITH YOU MOST OF THE TIME. South Park is a great character comedy about what it’s like to grow up with stupid parents, which is why I love it.…

Thank god they had that disclaimer, otherwise I might’ve mistakenly thought these gentlemen were being disrespectful to women!

Burneko, your takes are getting worse and worse.

Dear Mr. Palmer,

No, this is the Best Take I’ve ever read, here or anywhere.

This made no sense until I looked them up, realized they’re all country musicians, and remembered the game is in Nashville. Now I think it’s actually not a totally lame idea. I feel like if Philly hosted the All-Star game, they’d have to get the crew from Always Sunny (which, incidentally, also includes a Charles…