Hey all, just weighing in as the guy who sent in that song for Drew’s consideration, and I think the opinions here are pretty valid either way. I will add only that I opened my email with “Here’s some post-relevance Maiden.”

Had a buddy who made a joke in a comment thread today referring to handjobs as “handies,” and I wanted to say “Hey man not everyone’s seen Force Awakens yet,” but I couldn’t tell for sure whether he’d seen it, so I benevolently let it go. Huge missed opportunity.

Drew, I fucking teared up reading this. God bless you, you magnificent sonofabitch.

What a batard.

#Bennghazi

More important question (and maybe this is known and I just don’t spend enough time on the Internet), but will Disney ever be able to release the *original* (as in, non-special-CGI-bullshit) Star Wars trilogy in some kind of modern video format?

Don’t hate on socks! Socks are a good gift! I need my yearly sock deposit at Christmastime!

I believe “sentient Ralph Steadman drawing” was in there somewhere.

I’ll vouch for Classico Four Cheese. It’s the best of the cheap shit. Also, Target has a reasonably priced in-house brand that tries to sound fancy but is quite good.

At a New Year’s party some years ago, the girl I was crushing on and I finally made clear our mutual affection and, around 5am, found ourselves left to make our own end-of-festivities sleeping accommodations in our hosts’ living room.

Oh and I tried them and the ABP version is basically an inedible breadcrust caked in giant globs of sugar. There was some kind of raspberry sludge inside but I’m pretty sure it was just more sugar dyed to look red.

No lie, I heard of kouign-amman for the first time this morning. Because now Au Bon Pain has them (it? them? is kouign-amman singular or plural? it’s definitely a bitch to type). So I guess they’re, like, approved for the commoners now, because Au Bon Pain is to a fancy pastry shop what riding in the back of your…

This is my favorite holiday tradition.

Yes. Duh. This is what I have always done and no person has EVER been upset by it. “Sorry, we won’t be able to make it that night! Have fun! See you at the next thing, we hope!” People understand where I’m coming from. Likewise, when people can’t make my stuff, I get it. Life is busy, especially at the holidays!

This dude needs to chill with these takes. I’m not even disagreeing, it’s just like the third “X beloved thing actually ruined Y” piece I’ve seen from him. Find a new bete noire, man.

If you provide your first name, he can rename it to “[___] Don’t Read This” if that will be helpful to you.

Don’t ever let me say you don’t come through in the clutch, Magary.

My dream scenario is that both the Patriots and Panthers make undefeated runs to the Super Bowl, where Carolina destroys New England, giving us two teams with 18-1 records.

What does he care; his team’s 7-1.

As a resident of NYC and daily user of the subway, I did not question the truth of this even a little.