I have 4.5 years to change....but I'm a procrastinator so really I have 3 months.

No it's not "equally possible". I work representing kids in the foster care situation. The majority of time you see this pattern, there are multiple fathers.

But.. Baby, when the lights, go out.

Jared Leto is never jealous. Christian Bale just gets angry instead.

So basically Mrs. Potato Boobs?

It detracts from her looks, I agree. Also, I'm angry-jealous at people who don't have 24/7, year-long nasal allergies. You have to have excellent nasal health to pull off this fashion, right? But it doesn't look good.

Correction: It's ♫Jason Derulo♫.

This is all I can think of.

Its the bum part of Obummer

Now I'm just gonna leave the light on while I hide under the covers and pretend to sleep.

Me too. I'm terrified of the dark inside. And I'm terrified of folding laundry. I've got two full baskets staring me down now.

Darkness in my apartment, no problem. I know everything that's in here. Darkness outside, even on my parents' farm...NOPE.

I'd be more surprised if she went into a STEM field.

Diff'rent strokes.

These phrases refer to two very different masturbation styles. On my own, I never get any pickles out of the jar...unless I'm using a device for that.

Eh, Denis Leary has a sex-ay voice. It's not completely weird.

Hey hey hey. It's a damn fine book. Award winning and all, with two great female lead characters.

Were you dating Jane Austen?

A bookcase full of Bret Easton Ellis and Chuck Palaniuk

Drakkar Noir