Mara Wilson is always right anyway.

AND YOU REMEMBER IT AT THE WORST TIMES!! I AM YELLING BECAUSE IT IS FRIDAY. IT IS A VERY OLD JEZ TRADITION.

DON'T GO HOME. JUST STAY IN YOU EXTREMELY WELL LIT OFFICE UNTIL AFTER HALLOWEEN. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE.

My mom let the guy who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart sleep on her front lawn a couple times. (Pre-Elizabeth Smart kidnapping he was a local character nicknamed Homeless Moses.) I wasn't there at the time but my two little sisters were living with her.

Context: I am recounting an experience that I had about 8 years ago when I was a sophomore in college in West Chester, PA. I am recounting it to the best of my ability but some details might have been lost due to the time passing and the fact that I try not to think about this all that often.

1.) Hair color? Really? Then why does every Seattle Starbucks employee I see have blue, green or pink hair?

I don't always, but when I do, it's because the pooping muscles were ejecting the tampon anyway.

#thingsionlysayonline

::snort::

Also Tracee Ellis Ross is a goddess.

I agree. When Jezebel gave her shit for saying she didn't want to tackle abortion on her sitcom, I was annoyed. It's her damn show, and I think it's shitty of us to try to force Mindy Kaling, or any other female or WOC writer, to carry the cross for all of the issues that are part and parcel to feminism and race. I…

But the thing is, Lena's "brand" for lack of a better word is "trailblazing millennial feminist" while Mindy doesn't seem to really want to be the voice of her sex or race or generation. She's too concerned with just being funny, something Lena Dunham knows nothing about. I find Mindy to be more groundbreaking in this…

Mindy Kaling’s responses during the actual interview were more nuanced than that. I believe she said she refuses to focus on her “otherness” or to “be an outsider.” She says she wants to focus more on running her show than on her “pioneer” status as an Indian, woman show-runner. I would definitely give the interview a…

"When things like that happen, we need to be a united cell. We need connective tissue to be linked by spirit and spirituality."

Anyone that has served their country - especially a country that historically has had a crazily impressive military - deserves distinction in my eyes. Shame on you for thinking otherwise.

I'm not sure exactly what difference this makes to you. Yes, two years of service is compulsory for women. Simply because it was compulsory doesn't mean she didn't serve in one of the most highly respected armed forces in the world. If you're going to try to make some sort of argument that she is less bad ass…

Yes, thank you, I am aware of that. It doesn't change the fact that she did indeed serve in one of the most highly respected armed forces in the world.

It seems like you haven't exactly done your research on Ms Gadot, who was an Israeli soldier, motorcycle aficionado, and all around badass herself.

Then I would have to stop writing 15-paragraph-long comments about how I hate Lena Dunham because [blah blah blah me me me] and the world would be a better place.

It's like Underpeople are trying to hide the TP. And bathroom time is no time for games, you guys.

Palindromic response to Yoko's tweet: OK. Oy, Yoko.