I’ve never met a bowl of generic marshmallow cereal I didn’t like well enough to put in my mouth. They all share the same sugar-coated cardboard flavor that I grew up on, and that’s just fine by me.

I don’t necessarily disagree with any of this, but none of it is unique to Nintendo. The problem isn’t really with Nintendo’s mobile games, it’s mostly with mobile gaming itself. There’s just only so much you can do on a platform that’s not dedicated to games and has no buttons, and there’s also the issue of not…

What in the fuck?

So he has dentures or a partial or something? Seems kind of weird to make fun of someone for that, but oh well.

If a boy is born and receives the suffix “Jr.” he does not cease to be a Junior if he grows up to become a large fat man.

Do you mean meals? Because amiibos already do give you food in Breath of the Wild, of which you can hold an unlimited amount. It’s the meals that are limited in your storage, but you can hold as many raw ingredients as you want, which can easily be converted into meals/elixirs offering massive buffs. And that’s in…

To be honest, I’m actually surprised that people who care so much about reviews are even willing to read a review with no score attached to it.

Have you ever known an alcoholic or an addict of any kind? It’s pretty common to hear them curse the day they found whatever substance they’re addicted to, and to openly lament that it was ever invented. But that’s irrelevant because even if an addict fails to realize/acknowledge that they’re an addict or to openly…

Sorry, but this is just a tad hypocritical coming from a guy who spends his days writing about how awful he thinks one specific race is.

I’m pretty sure you also have to learn to fart at will, since it’s a multi-mouthpiece instrument and humans only have one true mouth.

My god. How do you know about the velzyxtrunput?

Eastern Europeans are known for their dark and depressive personalities/tastes, so.

Literally the only reason I haven’t seen this movie yet is the runtime. I was extremely excited about this movie before release, and then I saw the runtime and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I have a really hard time sitting still and focusing on a movie for that long, for multiple reasons. Of course I can…

I mean, this is all just the norm for mobile games, like it or not. And I’ve seen significantly sleazier games on mobile, at that. Nintendo tried to go premium-price for Mario Run and the dregs of app store user reviews and investors alike shit all over them for it and called them out of touch for not having used a…

Shovel Knight because he’s obviously good at dad chores and yardwork, and for my grandpa I’d take Old Man Ho Ho from Wind Waker because I feel like he’d take you on some adventures.

Another fun activity in that area is stacking up as many goombas as you can, walking up to the lava, and then jumping out of the stack and landing on the other side of the lava pit, thus luring them into the lava. They basically just melt to death one by one. It’s sadistic, but in a child-friendly way.

Eh, not really. If you’re doing QA for a specific company, you’re pretty much part of the development team, even if you work in a different location. And just in a general sense, contract work in any industry is basically equivalent to a company outsourcing its HR. People that get brought on as contractors are pretty…

Nothing more satisfying than popping a whole stack of goombas. I like to use picture mode mid-groundpound to take shots of the goombas getting squooshed into each other.

Well that is a lot of goombas.

I’m going to just assume that you’ve never actually played Breath of the Wild. Most people that get butthurt over this type of article haven’t, and your comments all seem to point in that direction.