I think what one considers to be the most horrifying tells you a lot about a person. Clicked expecting bodily functions, got stories of personal violation and shame. Am now a little disappointed in myself for thinking the former is what I had considered to be most horrifying. Good on you, Pinkham.

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

Freedom and stuff.

I’m choosing to believe that Pizza Hut staffers have to pack up their office supplies in pizza boxes.

Tears.

There’s a part of me that KNOWS they’re sausages, but damn if that pizza doesn’t look like it’s covered in shriveled up foreskins...

How the meeting should have gone.

Violence is seldom the answer.

I want to see the rest of the video.

Cilantro: Because fuck your tastebuds, that’s why.

Po-Tay-toe, po-Tah-toe... ;-)

Well, as old as timeline maybe.

She did a great bitch face.

You’re right, I missed that part of the dress code (my schools had no such provision, so I assumed this one did not).

TURN TO PAGE THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR

They look scary. Are they scary? Are they something that an adult with the brain and manual dexterity of an idiot child can handle? Hold me.

Pedicures could be used as a form of enhanced interrogation for me.

internet high five with my mouth full of reese’s

are you taylor swift?

I had gotten out of the military and was bartender at a bar/restaurant place. The owner was an alright guy. His nephew though...a completely piece of shit. He was harassing...I mean really harassing the shit out of this young girl that worked there.