Fucking hilarious, even though you two did violate what was always my favorite section of Highlights. Congrats to morninggloria and pantsless economist!

@sybann: Zing! I'm sort of hoping it's anyone but Chris Martin, too, though maybe that's wishful thinking.

1) Heidi Montag, though I really don't think she counts as a "starlet"

@Kivrin: Really lovely, wasn't it? I'd even settle for being described as a "vicious little cat."

Did anyone else see that episode of "House" earlier this month, where he tells a woman that she became pregnant due to human parthenogenesis, which sort of spontaneously fertilized one of her eggs so she became pregnant even though she was a virgin? (Turned out to be fake, but that's another story.)

And there's that cutie Secret Service guy again!

No, this photo won't come back to haunt Peyton in 15 years or so.

@your 6.0: I'm with you. I can't do either of those, no matter how many times I've tried. But I've learned, contrary to popular belief, that this by no means makes us bad kissers!

That thread was priceless. Congrats to BabyJane, Sarah, and everyone who commented on that one: I bow to your collective clever-osity.

@morninggloria: So THAT'S why my Glamour subscription was cancelled.

My mind jumps back to the piles of Glamour stacked by my mom's bed when I was growing up, and was entranced by cover lines like "54 Ways to Seduce Your Man" and "How To Drive Him Wild With Nothing But a Can-Do Attitude and Some Crotchless Panties." And this is different from every other issue of Glamour...how?

Agh, I need to get my roots done. Thanks for reminding me, Daisy. I knew you had a purpose.

Dear Beyonce,

In that sweater, scarf, and old jeans, he looks so soft and snuggly. Visions of heavy petting on the couch in front of a roaring fire dance in my head.

Condolences to Mia Farrow, and to her daughter's family. Losing a loved one on Christmas is devastating, I know.

Bringing the funny yet again, BrutallyHonestBabes. Loved it!

I agree that the LV boots and bag are too matchy, but she looks great here. And now I have "I Wanna Be Down" stuck in my head.

@whatsergem: Yes - or is he Magnum-ing?

Wasn't that video from Mr. Rogers' personal collection, right next to the hastily labeled "Mr. & Mrs. Rogers Make a Porno" and the home video of King Friday and Queen Sara Saturday's drunken threesome with Henrietta Pussycat?

@Your Screenplay Sucks: Where can I get me one of those? And by "those," of course I mean both the harem girl outfit and the subsequent manservant.