Meanwhile, my recently-published scientific review hypothesises that men have evolved to look sexy with their hair pushed back. Tracy Vaillancourt, will you please corroborate my theory that men have evolved to look sexy with their hair pushed back?

I was just watching a documentary on the chimpanzee. I enjoyed watching the part where mumma chimpanzee put the placenta in a waterproof bag and then blogged about it. AHH NATURE.

This is it. The most privileged article ever published on Jezebel. You did it guys. WE did it.

All I can think is why the hell didn't they take her to have that removed by a dermatologist? Yes, the thing in her skin is gross but I was just as grossed out by the amount of damage they were probably inflicting getting it out.

You know, I'm usually terminally curious, but I have absolutely no desire to watch this video. Anyone else not watching with me? The comments should be fun, though.

Didn't this happen to, like, everyone who was sexually confused and emotional on Livejournal in 2002? I am just amazed you knew all the players in real life.

Along with not wearing a white dress, I will also not throw a bouquet at my (hypothetical) wedding. But I will pose for a staged picture that I can 'shop a cat into. That is nothing short of awesome.

Perfect. Preach it like you teach it, Liz Lemon!

One of the many (many, many, many) wonderful things about my new puppy Buster: He does not eat turds. The woman at the pound even warned me, "I've never seen a dog that lived with cats that didn't eat out of the litter box," but he is completely uninterested. This makes me very happy, because ew ew ew.

The way we figured out my roommate's cat was getting too fat was that his belly-pooch started spilling over the sides of his favorite box.

Look, if the phrase "you people" is ever about to come out of your mouth, stop, take a deep breath, and walk away.

Woah, so many questions here...

So tired of seeing chicks and their pussies! get a room.

Unrelated to the topic at hand - I've always wanted to eat that cup. I imagine it tasting like those wax lips only crunchier and actually swallow-able.

Thanks, science. You’ve helped white wine drinkers everywhere realize that they’re probably way drunker than they thought.

I was at Target yesterday and they had put a bunch of different tasty wines on clearance that'd I'd wanted to try anyway, plus they have the Buy 6 (or more) and Get 10% Off deal, so I bought 10 bottles. Thought nothing of it until I got to check out and the lady says, "Wow! This is A LOT of wine. You must be having a…

I think I pour about a 2 oz glass, which I drink from a teacup. No reason. Makes it tricky to talk to doctors about my drinking.

Who measures wine in "glasses?" It's bottles up over here! I mean, yeah, I have wine glasses, but it's not like I've ever had to re-cap a bottle once it's been opened. I got a nice set of wine stoppers for my birthday one year and was like "...and these are for what, exactly?" "You know, when you don't finish a…

In my favorite proposal daydream that involves my current boyfriend proposing to me in the upstairs room of Shakespeare & Co. while a musician plays the piano and my cousins (who live in France) record the whole thing on video...